Special Episode | The Night of My First Kiss, Rinka Mizuki’s Perspective

“A kiss… I did it… I kissed Kazuto-kun…”

That night, after impulsively stealing my first kiss, I barricaded myself in my room, clutching my Kazuto-kun doll and thrashing about on my bed. An overwhelming, heart-clenching emotion surged through me, making my body writhe uncontrollably.

I gently brushed my lips with my fingers. It had lasted only a few seconds, but Kazuto-kun’s lips had been right there. The warmth lingered vividly in my memory. I hadn’t pressed too hard, yet there was no mistaking it—I had definitely kissed Kazuto-kun. It wasn’t the dreamy, romantic moment I’d fantasized about, but…

“…Heh… Nn—!”

Another uncontrollable wave of emotion hit, and I rolled wildly across my bed. What do I do? I just want to scream! This surging impulse, coursing from my chest through every fiber of my being, begged to be released in a full-throated yell.

“Kazuto-kun was so startled, wasn’t he… Hehe.”

A giggle escaped me as I recalled Kazuto-kun’s adorable, bewildered face after the kiss. He looked utterly clueless, like he couldn’t process what had just happened. At this point, it was almost… fun.

“But we’re married, so a kiss is no big deal…”

I tried to convince myself, but my heart wouldn’t stop pounding. Yes, married… so a kiss shouldn’t matter…!

“Nnngh—!”

“Hey, Rinka? You’re being kinda loud… Wait, are you okay!?”

My older sister’s shocked face appeared at the door.

“…I’m fine. No problem at all.”

“No, there’s definitely a problem! My little sister’s rolling around on the floor hugging a doll!”

I hadn’t even noticed I’d tumbled off the bed. I shouldn’t worry Onee-chan like this. Rising as if nothing had happened, I steadied myself and said calmly, “There’s no problem. This is just part of my training, so don’t worry.”

“That’s a pretty perverse kind of training, but… are you sure you’re okay? Just, you know, take it easy, Rinka.”

Onee-chan tossed me a concerned glance before retreating from the doorway. Once I was sure she was gone, I shut the door.

“Phew… Calm down, Mizuki Rinka. I’m the cool-type idol who handles everything with composure, right? Exactly. It’s just a kiss with my husband. Nothing strange about it. With my husband… with Kazuto-kun… A kiss—! Nnngh!”

My emotions erupted again, and before I could scream, I dove onto the bed, burying my face in the pillow to muffle a yell. It’s hopeless—I can’t hold it in. There’s no way I’m sleeping tonight.

“…Kazuto-kun.”

Sprawled on the bed, I gripped the Kazuto-kun doll with both hands, staring at it intently. So adorable. If we sold these as merchandise, they’d fly off the shelves. But this Kazuto-kun doll is mine alone. I’d rather die than let anyone else have it.

“W-Was it something like this…?”

With trembling hands, I lifted the Kazuto-kun doll, slowly bringing it closer to my face. A kiss. Until now, I’d never even considered kissing the doll. But after kissing the real Kazuto-kun, it felt only natural to think about it—

It’s just a doll. But it’s a Kazuto-kun doll.

My heart pounded wildly. Even so, my lips inched closer to the doll’s mouth—

“Ah! Rinka-neechan! You’re kissing the doll!”

“W-Wait, Nonoa! Don’t shout, they’ll hear—!”

The blood drained from my face. Praying it was a hallucination, I turned toward the door. It was slightly ajar, and through the gap, Onee-chan and Nonoa were staring at me.

“…What are you doing?”

“Uh, well, you see? Haha!”

Nonoa grinned innocently while Onee-chan looked visibly panicked. They knew they were caught… but I was drowning in a wave of burning shame. My face flushed hot, my body trembling uncontrollably.

“…I’m done for… Just kill me…!”

“You’re overreacting, Rinka! I get it, I totally get it! You were practicing kissing with a doll of a boy you like, right? Everyone goes through that phase!”

“Nngh? Kasumi-neechan, you did that too?”

“No, I didn’t!”

I couldn’t take it. I wanted to throw everything away and flee.

“Hey, Rinka-neechan, aren’t you gonna kiss it?”

“Stop… Don’t torture me anymore…!”

“Nngh…?”

Nonoa stepped closer, gazing up at me with pure, innocent eyes. Her guileless question squeezed my heart.

“Rinka-neechan, what about the kiss?”

“Just stop…!”

Unable to bear the embarrassment, I pulled the blanket over myself, hiding completely. From the outside, I probably looked like a rolled-up dumpling. Nonoa began poking me through the blanket with her finger.

“Nngh? Oh, right! Rinka-neechan, you have lots of dolls in your closet!”

—What?

I’d never told anyone but Kazuto-kun about them, so how did Nonoa know? With a sinking feeling, I threw off the blanket and sat up—but Nonoa had already opened the closet. Five Kazuto-kun dolls were exposed to the light. Naturally, Onee-chan saw them too, her mouth twitching, eyes wide.

“W-Well, this is… a bit unexpected. One doll is one thing, but five…”

Not five dolls, five people. I wanted to correct her, but the shock of being found out left me speechless.

“Nngh? There’s more in the back…?”

“Nonoa, stop—!”

“Ah! It’s a baby! Kazuto-niichan turned into a baby!”

Nonoa had pulled out a baby version of the Kazuto-kun doll from the corner of the closet, dressed in pink clothes with a pacifier in its mouth. So cute. Just looking at it made my soul feel like it was ascending.

“Rinka…”

Onee-chan gave me a look I’d never seen before, filled with genuine pity, as she spoke softly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how deep your darkness went.”

“W-What, Onee-chan!?”

“I’ll always be here for you from now on… If you’re ever struggling, you can tell me anything.”

A single tear glimmered in her eyes.

“Please stop talking like you’re genuinely worried… It makes me want to die!”

How did it come to this…!? I clutched my head in despair.

“Rinka-neechan! I want a Kazuto-niichan doll too! Make me one!”

“Rinka, let’s make more sister time, okay? …I’ll bear this sin with you.”

“Sin? You’re treating me like a criminal now!”

Nonoa begged for a doll, while Onee-chan genuinely worried for my mental state. I kept turning it over in my mind. How did it come to this…?

Yes, this is all Kazuto-kun’s fault. It’s because he’s too adorable (unfair resentment). Next time he stays over, I’ll make him take full responsibility. That’s right… Instead of the Kazuto-kun doll, I’ll have him be my hug pillow every night—Hehe.