Chapter 5: Chocolate Knife

Let me explain the current situation.

The characters involved are me and Toudou Mashiro. The location is the stair landing just before the rooftop.

We’re sitting with desks between us. The setup is ‘me · desk · Toudou.’

The stairs for escape are on the other side of Toudou’s seat. In other words, I can’t get away. That’s all.

I sensed an interrogation was about to begin and when in trouble, a forced smile is the way to go.

“Heh, heheh.”

My strained laugh seems to pull Toudou’s expression into one of concern.

“Kuroki-kun, you’re broken…”

“I’m not broken…!”

Though I’m teetering on the edge.

“Good, you’re back to normal.” Toudou’s tone shifts, sharp and direct, like a detective cornering a suspect. “Now, answer me. What did you hear?”

She leans forward, her intensity pinning me in place. After school, her ribbon hangs loose at her chest, and a glimpse of skin catches my eye, unbidden. Despite her top-tier test scores, there’s an airheaded quality to Toudou that throws me off balance.

“Even if you ask… it was just a few words you muttered to yourself, Toudou. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“Ahh, so I really said it out loud…”

Toudou’s face flushes a vivid red. She buries it in her hands, head dipping low. Her ash-blonde hair spills over her shoulders, smooth as sand trickling through an hourglass. In her embarrassment, she seems like any other girl her age—bluntly put, cute enough to steal my breath. Her hands shift slightly, covering her mouth.

“I talk to myself a lot…! I really need to be careful…! It’s a secret, okay, Kuroki-kun? All sorts of things are confidential…!”

“G-Got it.”

“Absolutely…?!”

“Ab-Absolutely…”

Her eyes lock onto mine, unwavering. Having a stunningly beautiful girl this close makes my nerves fray, and heart pounding foolishly. For a fleeting moment, I’d thought Toudou and I were alike, but that was idiotic.

She places her hands back on her knees, nodding to herself as if confirming something.

“Kuroki-kun, you’re someone who keeps secrets well.”

“Huh?”

“I can tell. You’re the type who keeps your mouth shut tight.”

“How could you possibly know that…?”

“Because you have the face of someone who keeps secrets.”

“What even is a face like that…?”

It’s not like I’m soft or anything. Take Akane’s activities, for instance—I haven’t breathed a word to anyone. Sure, maybe that’s because I don’t have friends to tell, but still, I’m not the type to spill everything.

Toudou raises a finger, her tone suddenly teacher-like.

“‘No bad person keeps their mouth shut tight,’ as they say.”

“Whose famous quote is that?”

I’ve never heard of it.

“Ah, being called ‘you’ kinda hurts. Stop it.”

Toudou’s lips purse into a pout, flustering me more than it should. Somehow, I keep my composure.

“S-Sorry.”

“You can pick either ‘Mashiro-chan’ or ‘Maa-chan,’ okay?”

Toudou laughs smugly. It seems she’s teasing me.

“…Toudou-san, then.”

“Toudou-san, huh? So formal. But since your mouth seems tight-lipped, it might be fine.”

“You really seem intent on making my mouth out to be tight-lipped, but what exactly do you want?”

“You know, Kuroki-kun, I think this is fate. When you think about it, breaking your smartphone was a pretty big flag, right?”

“Flag…”

That’s an odd choice of words for her.

“Kuroki-kun, will you be my master?”

“Huh?”

Did I hear that right?

“Teacher or coach is fine too, okay?”

Nope, I didn’t mishear.

“Toudou-san’s the one who’s broken…”

“I-I’m not broken!”

Her flustered reaction feels oddly familiar, but when I catch sight of her face—beauty that could stop hearts—my heart skips a beat, and I shrink back.

That said—coach, huh.

Back in the day, I was part of an amateur gaming team. We’d help each other improve, point out mistakes, and team up for small tournaments. That’s all in the past now; I’m solo these days. Figure out why yourself.

There was a coach role during those activities, but not all memories are fond ones. Still, that’s just my baggage. Toudou’s eyes, though, are deadly serious.

“In other words, Toudou, you’re saying you want to get better at the game? That’s why you’ve been practicing alone in secret.”

There was no shame in practicing quietly, I thought. Effort didn’t need to be flaunted to be meaningful.

Toudou tilted her head slightly, her gaze drifting diagonally upward as if searching for the right words. “Um… Yeah, of course I want to win and improve, so I thought having a coach would be nice, but…”

“But?”

“I want to get strong… because I want to have fun doing it?”

“…I see.”

What an enviably pure sentiment. Her honesty struck something deep within me, a feeling I hadn’t touched in a long time.

Toudou nodded repeatedly, as if she’d found her answer, her small, animal-like movements oddly endearing. “For starters, I just want to get good enough to play with someone. To have fun with games, you need skills, right? So I want you to teach me. To enjoy it, I want to get better. If I’m dragging others down, I can’t enjoy it from the heart. And if possible, it’d be great if I could get strong that way too, don’t you think?”

“Yeah…”

Her words shone with a clarity I’d almost forgotten. To have fun playing games. To improve for the sake of joy. Those were feelings I’d buried somewhere along the way, dulled by time and routine.

“Am I wrong?”

You’re not wrong. Those words were simple, yet they were caught in my throat, heavy with a truth I wasn’t ready to voice. My mouth stayed shut.

＊

Having fun playing games. It’s such an obvious thing, yet so easy to forget. For me, it was all about getting stronger.

I think it was my dad—or maybe my mom—who once said, “If you turn a hobby into work, it stops being fun. If you’re dead set on doing that, have multiple hobbies. That way, you won’t burn out.” Even as a student, I’ve come to understand that truth all too well. A game that used to spark joy can turn painful when the stakes are high and goals loom large.

Team battles are the worst for it. One person’s mistake drags everyone down. Even if you play flawlessly, someone else’s fumble can ruin it all. Before long, the stress overshadows the fun, and what was meant to be entertainment morphs into a weapon that chips away at your spirit.

Toudou’s gaze sharpens, suspicion flickering in her eyes as I fall silent.

“Kuroki-kun, what’s wrong? Did I say something weird?”

“No, it’s nothing,” I mutter, shaking my head. “Just my own issues.”

“Really? You okay?”

Toudou tilts her head, and her ash-blonde hair spills over her shoulder, catching the light streaming in from outside. It glimmers like some rare in-game item, the kind any player would scramble to snatch up.

“So, what exactly do you want from me, Toudou?”

“Like I said, I want you to be my game teacher.”

“You mean like a coach.”

“Is that… no good?”

Her upward glance is disarming, almost calculated in its charm. If Toudou Mashiro is doing this naturally, she’s a dangerous force—capable of toppling the world with a single look.

In school, I’m just a background character, a mob lost in the crowd. But when it comes to games, I’ve got my own pride and opinions. “I get what you’re saying, Toudou. And I don’t think you’re wrong. But sorry—I’m not strong enough to be a coach.”

It’s the truth. These past few years, I’ve learned my place. I’m not weak, but I’m no top-tier player either.

Toudou’s brow furrows, her expression puzzled. “When your smartphone broke, I saw your rank. It’s high, right? Doesn’t that mean you’re strong?”

“My rank is top-tier, sure,” I admit. “But that’s just the rank. It doesn’t mean my skills are on that level. If you grind long enough, your rank climbs. That’s all.”

Unconvinced, she presses on, her words tumbling out faster. “But I’m not aiming to be number one or anything. I just want you to teach me how to enjoy it.”

“How to enjoy it…”

“Yeah, yeah! Like, techniques for having fun, or the right mindset, stuff like that. Things I shouldn’t do—teach me those.”

How to enjoy it. That’s a tough one. It’s different for every player.

For me, the thrill came from chasing the top spot, from the rush of becoming number one. But Toudou? Her idea of fun is probably something else entirely.

The gap between us feels as wide as the one in our high school lives. A social butterfly like her and a loner like me—teaming up is bound to get awkward. Pair someone obsessed with getting stronger with someone who just wants to have fun, and the mismatch in goals can suck the joy right out of the game.

Gamers who play to dominate and those who play for fun are like oil and water. Same game, different worlds. They’ll never mix.

“Sorry, but… I…” I began, trying to let her down gently.

“Well then—” Toudou cut in, switching gears with lightning speed. “How about becoming teammates?”

“Huh? Teammates?” I replied with a straight face.

“Yeah, gaming buddies!” Her voice brimmed with enthusiasm. “I’ve been wanting someone like that.”

The words spilled from her pink lips, carrying a warmth that felt almost tangible. So, even Toudou Mashiro, dazzling as she is, plays games alone too.

I muttered without thinking, “That… must be boring. Playing with friends is way more fun.”

“Right!?”

“Whoa!?”

Toudou leaned forward, nearly toppling her chair. Her hands slammed onto the desk, her intensity cranking up to eleven. I confess: my eyes flicked downward for a split second, catching a glimpse of colorful fabric and a sharp black line in my peripheral vision. I forced myself to ignore it, focusing hard on her face.

“Kuroki-kun, wanna do it with me?”

Her phrasing. God, her phrasing.

“…”

“Come on! If coaching’s too much, just doing it together should be fine, right?”

Seriously, that phrasing again.

“…”

“Let’s do it together. Don’t you think that’s the best kind of relationship?”

“Uh… we’re talking about games, right?”

“Of course.”

Yeah, figured.

“You okay, Kuroki-kun?”

I almost blurted that it was her fault, but the real culprit was my own head, so I bit my tongue.

“Just to check… being gaming buddies means playing together in real life, you know?”

“…? What are you getting at?”

Could we really have fun gaming together when we’ve barely spoken before?

“Hey, Kuroki-kun, do you hate the idea of being gaming buddies with me?”

Her words hit like a knife forged from chocolate—fragile yet sharp, piercing my chest and melting slowly inside.

Is this what they mean by the hunter becoming the hunted?

“I don’t hate it, but…”

My voice faltered, cracking under the weight of my hesitation. It wasn’t dislike—far from it. The idea of getting close to a girl as cute as Toudou was so far beyond my wildest imagination. My high school life had been nothing but games, a safe bubble where I didn’t have to navigate moments like this.

Her smile hit me like a burst of sunlight, radiant and unwavering, as if the thought of rejection hadn’t even crossed her mind. “Really? Great! So, starting today, we’re classmates and gaming buddies, okay?”

Toudou thrust out her hand, not for money or anything like that—just a gesture, pure and simple. I wiped my palm on my pants, trying to be subtle, bracing for the moment just seconds away.

“I’m Kuroki You, your new party member starting today…”

The words sounded fine in the context of a game, but out here in real life? Utterly ridiculous.

Toudou laughed, bright and unforced. “Kuroki-kun, you’re funny! I’m Toudou Mashiro, your new teammate starting today. Nice to meet you.”

Her hand met mine, soft and warm, the contact flowing so naturally it caught me off guard. A handshake. Just a handshake. A sign of friendship—nothing more. I refused to admit it was the first time I’d held a girl’s hand since elementary school.

She smiled, effortless and warm. “I’m glad. Really glad we get to be gaming buddies, Kuroki-kun.”

“Don’t get your hopes up too high,” I muttered.

“Hopes? For what?”

“Nothing.”

Being this close to Toudou Mashiro made it hard to breathe, my nerves refusing to settle. Embarrassment crept in, uninvited. Our hands parted at the same moment, her fingers slipping away. I couldn’t help but wonder if my palm had been sweaty.

“Hey, Kuroki-kun,” Toudou said, her tone shifting slightly. “Changing the subject, but…?”

“What?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure…”

“How many hours a day are you allowed to game at home? Like, an hour?”

Her question threw me off. “You mean playtime for games?”

“Uh-huh.”

What a strange thing to ask. “As many as I want, really. But only after I’ve studied.”

“…Huh? As many as you want? You’re free to?”

“No, like I said, after studying.”

“If you study, then… any number of hours…?”

Toudou’s eyes widened, sparkling with disbelief, as if I’d just revealed something unbelievable.