“—Himura, you’re surprisingly kind of a mess, huh?”
Caught off guard by such a blunt remark, I couldn’t come up with a single retort.
A few days into summer vacation.
Toki-chan and Misora were planning to practice their flute on a day they were both free, so we decided I’d open the community center that day to practice kagura dance alongside them.
And while we were at it, I was having Toki-chan tutor me in my studies.
“Do you even take classes seriously? It’s kind of ridiculous that you’re doing worse than me, someone who barely shows up.”
“…What was your ranking in the last final exams?”
“First place, obviously.”
“I was 22nd, wasn’t I? Toki-chan, you’re amazing!”
If the amazing person who said, “It’s ridiculous to be worse than me,” said that, I bet everyone in our school would take a hit to their ego.
Well, sure, she’s amazing! But the classmate right next to us brushing it off like it’s nothing is just Misora being weird…
“Wait, isn’t 22nd pretty impressive too? Our school has more students than yours, right?”
“Yup, I’m kinda amazing too, aren’t I?”
Honestly, I’m starting to feel like I don’t even want to be here.
Why is everyone around me so ridiculously good-looking and smart?
Being surrounded by people like this just keeps piling up my insecurities, doesn’t it?
When I told my mom about my final exam results, she got even more fired up, saying, “I’ll take care of everything at home!”
Honestly, at this point, doing chores feels way easier on my mind and body than studying.
Maybe I should just aim to become a shrine priest and a stay-at-home husband in the future. Wait, no, if I’m a shrine priest, I can’t exactly call myself a stay-at-home husband—that’d be too disrespectful.
The head priest at our shrine keeps telling me to skip university and go straight to a training school for priests…
It’s not like I have some grand dream for the future, and I’ve already been taught the basics of shrine work, so I guess that wouldn’t be a bad path…
“Ugh… I don’t wanna study.”
“Why’re you talking like some typical high schooler?”
“If I’m not a typical high schooler, then what even is a typical high schooler…?”
You’d be hard-pressed to find someone with as little to show for themselves as a student as me. If I had to pick something, maybe it’s that good-looking girls tend to flock to me.
Some people would probably cry tears of jealousy over that, but for me, it’s not something I need.
Of course, I get that I’m only able to think like this because I’m in this situation.
If I were some guy starving for female attention and consumed by jealousy over popular dudes, I’d probably hate someone like me.
I mean, I’m fully aware that getting tutored by two beautiful girls in a cool, air-conditioned room at the start of summer vacation is the kind of thing people would envy.
But what can I do? It’s just how I feel.
I’m at that age where I’d rather hang out with the guys and do dumb stuff together. I want to drag Souma, Rikuto, and maybe Kouji along and hit up an arcade or something.
Honestly, ever since this year started, I don’t think I’ve ever felt happy or like I’ve gained anything from hanging out with any girl other than Kaname.
“…Come on, hurry up and move that pencil. I’ll go over your mistakes all at once later.”
“Yeah… got it.”
I realized for the first time that she’s stricter than usual in moments like this.
Meanwhile, Misora’s completely in her own world, practicing her flute.
Whenever she misses a note, Toki-chan glances over, and Misora flinches for a split second.
I couldn’t help but laugh at the scene, only to get a light glare from Toki-chan… or so I thought, but then she glanced at me for a moment before quickly looking away.
“…Stop laughing and get to work.”
“Wait, why’d you just look away like that?”
“It’s nothing.”
“I think that’s the first time I’ve seen you laugh, Aoi-kun. You’ve got this really clean, pretty kind of smile.”
A pretty kind of smile—what’s that supposed to mean?
I vaguely remember Kaname saying she liked my smile too, but since I don’t laugh much, I don’t really know what they’re talking about.
I tilted my head, wondering what she meant, and Misora, noticing, opened her mouth as if choosing her words carefully.
“How do I put it… like, it’s this spontaneous smile, you know? Really natural and cute.”
“…I don’t know, man. Getting complimented on my smile doesn’t really make me happy or anything… I don’t even get what you’re praising.”
“I mean, you’ve got that plain vibe, but you’re kinda good-looking, right?”
Why is it that even being called good-looking doesn’t feel like a compliment right now?
“So you’re saying I am plain, then?”
“Yeah, like, plain in the sense that you don’t stand out.”
Is there ever a time when “plain” is used to mean anything other than not standing out?
As I sat there with another question mark floating above my head, Misora put a finger to her chin, searching for words again.
“Hmm… like, you don’t put on airs, you know?”
“Not really? I mean, I don’t show it to people I know, but when I go out alone, I dress up a ton.”
“Seriously!?”
It wasn’t just Misora who was shocked.
Honestly, Toki-chan looked way more surprised.
“That’s news to me…?”
“I’ve never mentioned it, and we’ve never gone out together, so yeah.”
“…Do you dress up when you go out with Kaori?”
“Huh? Why would I need to put in effort when I’m out with her? I said when I’m alone, didn’t I?”
Besides, we haven’t even gone out together lately.
“Don’t people usually dress up when they’re going out with someone?”
“When I’m already with someone who stands out, why would I want to draw even more attention?”
Sure, I don’t mind the occasional glance when I’m dressed up, but I still don’t like being the center of attention.
“Aww… I wanna see it.”
“You’ll get to see me perform kagura up close this time, so just be happy with that.”
Unless they catch me by chance, they’re not gonna see it.
I barely ever go out with these two, and even if I did, I wouldn’t dress up.
“…I was trying to say ‘plain’ in the sense that you don’t try to draw attention to yourself.”
“Oh? So that’s what you meant by not putting on airs… Well, yeah, I don’t like people staring, so I definitely don’t try to stand out.”
I don’t go out of my way to make myself stand out or act like someone I’m not just to show off.
I might put up a front if I’m desperate, but I don’t go as far as trying to be something I’m not.
“You’re scared of attention, yet you can still perform kagura, huh?”
When I’m wearing makeup, I don’t really notice people’s stares. It feels like they’re looking at someone else, not me.
Or maybe it’s just that I feel like I’m someone else when I’m made up.
But I have a feeling saying that wouldn’t make much sense to them.
Because no matter how much makeup I wear, I’m still just me.
“That’s why I practice so much—to get rid of all the anxiety and stuff.”
I just blurted out whatever came to mind.
“If you put that much effort into studying, you’d be fine.”
And just like that, Toki-chan hit me with cold, hard logic again.
It’s not like I’m not taking studying seriously just because it’s not sinking in…
But I bet someone like Toki-chan, who can do anything if she tries, wouldn’t get that.
