Purpose

“First, I want to do a quick test. Is that okay?”

On the table where food had been lined up earlier, Hayashi was now arranging study materials.

And so, I made a suggestion to Hayashi.

To teach her effectively, I first needed to understand her current level. Otherwise, it would be impossible to teach her properly, and it would be less efficient.

If I’m taking the time to help her study, it would be a waste of time for both of us if it didn’t benefit us mutually.

That’s why I made the suggestion.

“Got it.”

Hayashi agreed immediately.

I thought I might need to explain further, but she turned out to be surprisingly reasonable.

After that, Hayashi started working on a page from the study materials with a time limit.

Now that I think about it, back in high school, Hayashi often complained to Kasahara or Ishida during breaks about lacking motivation for classes. Though she listened attentively during lessons, recalling those complaints makes her current silent focus on studying feel a bit out of character.

Honestly, it’s a little surprising that she has such high motivation for studying now.

Well, I suppose when you’re trying to avoid living in abject poverty, you can’t afford to be picky.

About thirty minutes passed.

“I’ve gone through it once.”

Hayashi’s expression wasn’t great.

Her words to me were hesitant, lacking energy, almost subdued.

She’d mentioned that her bookkeeping studies weren’t going well.

And now, her attitude.

I had a rough idea of how she did on this test, but for now, I took the study materials from Hayashi and started checking her answers.

“This is rough…”

The result made me mutter under my breath.

“W-Well, lately, with Ichi’s situation and my dad’s stuff, I haven’t had any time to study…”

Come to think of it, in just these past two months, how many times has Hayashi gone back and forth between her hometown and Tokyo?

Between the incident with her ex-boyfriend’s violence and her hectic lifestyle, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her situation.

“That must’ve been tough.”

For now, I offered her words of sympathy.

“…You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad?”

“Because…”

Hayashi closed her mouth and looked down.

Now that I think about it, her parents were pretty strict with her, weren’t they? And her ex-boyfriend went beyond strict to outright abusive…

It seems Hayashi thought it was normal to get scolded for failing.

“If you kept making the same mistake two or three times, I’d have something to say. But this isn’t like that, is it? This isn’t even a failure. It’s just a chance to see where you’re at right now, nothing more.”

“But…”

“Hayashi, don’t lose sight of your purpose.”

Hayashi stayed silent.

“Your goal this time is to pass the bookkeeping exam. It’s not about getting a good score on this test I gave you, right? If anything, you should be coming at me with confidence, saying, I showed you my current level, so you better teach me properly!”

“I-I wouldn’t say something like that…”

Well, the current Hayashi wouldn’t.

…But the Hayashi from high school probably would’ve.

Is this another sign of how she’s changed?

“Anyway, I’ve got a good sense of your current level.”

“Yeah.”

“So, here’s the thing… the next bookkeeping exam is next month, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s give up on that one.”

“Guh!”

Hayashi gave an exaggerated reaction.

Can’t be helped, can it?

At this rate, there’s no way she’d be ready by next month.

“…So, when should I take it?”

“The one in February.”

“…I see.”

Hayashi looked down again. She seemed to be feeling down once more.

“I’m totally useless, huh…”

“Are you?”

“I mean, I haven’t made any progress with studying at all.”

“It’s only natural that things don’t go perfectly the first time. If anything, because you faced it head-on, you’ve saved yourself from wasting money, haven’t you?”

Hayashi fell silent again.

“I told you, Hayashi, don’t forget your purpose. Your goal is to get that bookkeeping qualification. Whether you get it in November or February doesn’t matter, does it?”

Her expression still didn’t brighten.

“…Hayashi, do you think I’ve always lived this smoothly from the start?”

Hayashi looked at me with a surprised expression.

“Exactly. There’s no way that’s true. So why do you think I’m managing to live so well now? It’s just my opinion, but I think there are three reasons. First, facing things head-on. Second, speaking your mind clearly. And third, motivation.”

“…Motivation?”

“Yeah, motivation. No matter what you do, most things require motivation. Without it, when you’re feeling cold or detached, you don’t even have the energy to point out someone’s mistakes, even if it means they’ll dislike you. You won’t have the will to take that first step forward. To take that step, you always need motivation.”

Hayashi looked down.

“Luckily, you’ve got motivation right now. So I can guarantee it. As long as you don’t lose sight of your purpose, you’ll definitely get that bookkeeping qualification. So let’s work hard together, alright?”

“…Hey, Yamamoto?”

“What?”

“I’ve never once thought your life, surrounded by enemies, was a particularly smooth way of living…”

I shut my mouth.

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