Hayashi Megumi’s Resignation

This is from the heroine’s perspective (fifth time)

In the morning, probably around the time Yamamoto arrived at school, I got a message from him. Shocked by its contents, as I replied, I learned he was heading to a group date today, egged on by some guy from his department.

Well, I figured a day like this would come eventually.

Sure, I’m living in Yamamoto’s place, but it’s not like I’m his girlfriend or that he’s got any romantic feelings for me.

At the end of the day, he’s nineteen.

At the end of the day, he’s a college kid who wants to have fun.

It’s not exactly strange for him to join a group date looking for a girlfriend someday, right?

Can’t be helped. These things happen. I’ll just deal with it.

Without replying to Yamamoto, I headed to the home center alone. I bought a few rolls of wrapping paper.

The moment I got home, I tossed the plastic bag with the wrapping paper carelessly into the living room and opened the closet.

“Idiot.”

And so, I started wrapping his precious cleaning supplies in the paper.

“Yamamoto, you idiot.”

With even more resentment in my tone, I wrapped up the mountain of cleaning supplies.

“…Yamamoto, you moron.”

Can’t be helped. These things happen. I’ll just deal with it.

I tried to convince myself of that.

But there was no way I could actually do it.

Considering everything I’ve been through, it’s only natural.

To Yamamoto, who saved me from a hellish daily life.

To Yamamoto, who, despite everything, let me hide out in this place.

To Yamamoto, who brought justice down on that guy.

…To Yamamoto, who’s still letting me live here.

The feelings I have for him aren’t something I can just give up on overnight. That’s obvious, isn’t it?

That’s why I wanted him to make friends.

His smile, which I’ve come to recall every time I close my eyes. I thought it’d be nice if even just one more person, besides me, could make him smile like that.

That’s why I said those things, holding his cleaning supplies hostage, ready for him to hate me.

But I never imagined it would backfire so badly.

“Idiot.”

In the end, I left some of the wrapping paper unused and stopped wrapping the cleaning supplies.

From the start, I never intended to sell them on some online marketplace. I just wanted to see the look of shock on his face when he got back. In other words, it was pure spite. A punishment for him going off to a group date and flirting with other girls while ignoring me.

Of course, I have no right to punish him like that.

I felt guilty, too. But that guilt was nothing compared to the resentment I felt toward him right now.

From his perspective, it’s probably resentment he doesn’t even understand.

But it can’t be helped.

He made the mistake of saving a jealous girl like me.

Back in high school, I hated him so much I couldn’t even stand to look at him.

But now, I can’t even imagine a moment without him.

It’s all his fault.

All of it, every single bit.

It’s all because he saved me that day.

“…Come back soon, Yamamoto.”

I’ll buy your favorite beef tongue.

I won’t sell your cleaning supplies.

…So.

I just want you to come back soon.

Contrary to my wishes, time kept ticking by.

I made dinner for two, just in case. But now that I think about it, he’s probably eating at the group date, so it wasn’t necessary. Would it kill him to at least let me know he doesn’t need dinner? I grumbled to myself, conveniently ignoring that I hadn’t replied to him either.

Eating dinner alone wasn’t as tasty as usual.

That’s when I realized the one seasoning that outshines all others was right by my side.

Of course, I could never say that to his face.

I didn’t even feel like looking at the tablet I’m still borrowing from him.

Before I knew it, I was checking the clock every five minutes, listening to the TV in the background, and burying my face in Yamamoto’s pillow.

I flailed my legs a bit. Maybe if I did this, Yamamoto would come back sooner. But of course, that didn’t happen.

Time kept passing.

Time kept passing faster and faster.

And before I knew it, it was past midnight. No more trains were running.

That’s when I finally gave up.

Yamamoto, who missed the last train… Yamamoto, who stayed out this late…

I didn’t want to know, but I couldn’t help but understand what he was doing and where.

If I’d known it would come to this, I never would’ve told him to make friends.

That’s right. If he makes friends, I won’t be able to keep him all to myself. For me, him having friends only brings disadvantages.

“I’m such an idiot.”

Clutching Yamamoto’s pillow, I muttered to myself.

His scent lingered on the pillow, but he wasn’t here in this room.

I’m always like this. I only regret things when it’s too late to fix them.

Like with my ex-boyfriend.

Like with my dad.

And now, finally… with him.

“…Yamamoto.”

Once more, I pleaded to a man who wasn’t here.

Please.

I’m begging you.

I won’t tell you to make friends anymore.

I won’t threaten to sell your cleaning supplies anymore.

I won’t cause you any more trouble.

So please, come back.

“I’m home.”

His voice echoed from the entrance.

Honestly, Hayashi’s probably the most vivid character here. Her personality meshes way too well with my annoying tendencies. But I’ve never loved someone so jealously like this.

Could it be that I’ve just been outdone by a character I created?

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