Change

In the morning, I woke up at the usual time. As always, Hayashi was still in bed, breathing softly in her sleep. Trying not to wake her, I quietly started cleaning.

After cleaning for a while, Hayashi stirred and sat up.

“Morning.”

“…Mm.”

Rubbing her sleepy eyes, Hayashi mumbled a response. Mornings were always tough for her. Maybe because of her bad eyesight, she constantly squinted, and her pale complexion, likely due to her sensitivity to the cold, didn’t help.

For about ten minutes, Hayashi sat on the bed, staring blankly into space. Finally, she dragged herself out of bed.

“Morning.”

Hayashi greeted me, looking at my face.

Lately, she’d been avoiding eye contact, but ever since she returned from visiting her family, she started looking at me when she spoke again. I guess that means I’ve earned a decent amount of her trust.

“Yo.”

I smiled and replied.

Hayashi got to work preparing breakfast. I washed my hands and watched TV while waiting for the meal she was making.

“Sorry for the wait.”

“Didn’t wait.”

“Shut up.”

We carried her home-cooked meal to the table together and started eating.

It was the usual, everyday morning.

“You’ve got classes until fifth period today, right?”

“Yeah.”

“First to fifth period, packed schedule. Engineering’s tough, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you made any friends? Studying for exams alone doesn’t get you far, does it?”

“Yeah.”

“…You’re not even listening to me, are you?”

“Yeah.”

Huh?

I’d been so engrossed in the TV that my responses to Hayashi were half-hearted, and I had a feeling I’d just said something wrong.

When I glanced at her, her face was clouded with a shadow.

My face paled instantly. Back in high school, she was so bold that people called her a queen or whatever, but ever since I started hiding her in this room, she hasn’t seemed like that at all. Seeing her now, looking like she might cry, only made that clearer.

“Uh… sorry.”

I thought about making an excuse but decided to just apologize honestly.

“…It’s fine.”

“Fine?”

“It’s not like I’d get upset just because you’re not listening to me.”

“Say that after I see your face.”

Crap. I didn’t mean to provoke her, but her contrarian attitude got to me, and I ended up saying something weird.

Hayashi’s temple twitched with a vein.

“I was saying that because I was worried about you, you know?”

“Right.”

“What’s with that attitude? You’re glued to the TV. If you love it so much, why don’t you marry it?”

“Whoa, whoa. It’s not like I’m obsessed with the TV. It’s just… you know, sometimes you talk about TV stuff with friends at school.”

“Not really.”

“Huh?”

Then what the heck did you talk about with your friends in school?

Were you all chanting sutras or something?

Like, “Whoa, that sutra vibrato was so good!”—is that what you and your friends were gushing about?

“Nope.”

“I didn’t even say anything.”

“It was written all over your face.”

“…Was it?”

“…You, you know.”

Hayashi let out a sigh.

“You don’t have any friends, do you?”

And with that, Hayashi dropped a bombshell.

I’d always told her I had few friends. Her comment now was like throwing a stone at that claim.

“Well, yeah.”

Calmly, I replied.

Honestly, despite claiming I had few friends, I secretly agreed with her.

Maybe I don’t have any friends.

I hadn’t said it out loud because, well, if I didn’t have to, I’d rather not.

It was like putting a lid on something that stinks—exactly that kind of thing.

“I’m surprised. I thought you’d say something like, ‘Define friends!’ or ‘I have them! Tons of them! Just wait, I’ll bring some over by tomorrow!’—something like that.”

“What kind of person do you think I am?”

I’m not that stubborn, you know?

…

“Well, I’ve never really been inconvenienced by not having friends.”

“What about exams?”

“I hate to brag, but I’m pretty smart.”

“Oh, right. That’s probably what gets on everyone’s nerves.”

“Back in the day, when I got a perfect score on a test and said it was no big deal, people told me to stop being so humble because it was annoying.”

“Yeah, that’d make me want to punch you.”

So, either way, I’m screwed?

Just keep my mouth shut and live my life?

Oh, wait, that’s not much different from now.

So, my current lifestyle is the optimal solution? What the heck.

Breaking news: Genius me has been living the optimal solution without even realizing it.

“…Don’t you ever want friends?”

“Well, I don’t really feel inconvenienced without them.”

“…I see.”

Hayashi looked a little downcast for some reason. Why? Even if she’s softened her opinion of me a bit, she used to hate me. This should be the part where she’s crying tears of joy.

Well, I guess her not doing that is just her conscience at work. She’s really a good person.

“Oh, I forgot.”

“Forgot what?”

“I do have a friend.”

“Who?”

“You. Guh!”

Right after I said it, Hayashi pushed my cheek, forcing my head to the side. A weird noise escaped my mouth.

“D-Don’t say stuff like that…”

For some reason, Hayashi’s voice was trembling.