Hayashi Megumi’s Future
From the heroine’s perspective (fourth time)
The night I returned home.
I ended up staying overnight at my family’s house for the first time in a while.
“It’s dusty.”
My room, which I hadn’t been in for nearly half a year, was unsurprisingly dusty. There was no way I’d let Yamamoto step foot in here. If I did, he’d probably throw a fit and refuse to leave until the place was spotless. I’m a freeter right now, so it wouldn’t be a big deal for me, but he’s got his studies. He’d be in trouble if he didn’t head back.
“Thanks for letting me use the bath.”
Yamamoto’s voice echoed from the first floor. He’d stayed late at the hospital, helping take care of my dad.
As a result, with Mom’s permission, Yamamoto was staying over at our house tonight.
I could hear cheerful chatter coming from downstairs. That guy’s got his quirks, but he’s not bad at communicating… Mom’s voice sounded like she was having fun, too.
I hesitated for a moment about going downstairs.
Honestly, it felt awkward.
Not because of Mom. It was him. Lately, I’ve been acting so weird. Ever since I became aware of the feelings I’ve been hiding deep inside, I can’t even look him in the eye.
This kind of thing… it’s really the first time in my life. Honestly, the nickname “Queen” feels like a ridiculous joke now.
Maybe I should just go to bed.
I thought about it and flopped onto the bed, but then I remembered I hadn’t even taken a bath yet.
Quietly, tiptoeing carefully, I headed toward the first-floor bathroom.
The door separating the living room from the hallway rattled as it slid open.
“Yo, Hayashi.”
“Eek!”
A pathetic squeak slipped out of me in my own house. My face burned. I couldn’t meet his eyes.
At the worst possible moment, Yamamoto had stepped out of the room.
“…What’s wrong?”
“Just… heading to the bath.”
“Got it. I already used it. My bad.”
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”
“…Alright. Guess I’ll head to bed soon, then.”
“That’s early, huh.”
“Yeah. Figured I’d take a walk around the area tomorrow.”
“…Huh.”
I wanted to go on that walk with him. But if I asked now, it’d probably come out like a kid begging for candy, so I held back.
Plus… Yamamoto can be pretty self-centered when it comes to things that don’t require tact. There’s a real chance he’d flat-out refuse to let me tag along. Thinking about getting rejected made my stomach churn. I might lose it if he said no.
“Wanna come with?”
“…Huh?”
It was an invitation I hadn’t dared hope for. I couldn’t believe he’d suggested it himself. I want to go. That’s my honest feeling.
…But.
“N-No, I’m good.”
“Oh, alright.”
…I couldn’t help it.
Going on a walk alone with him? That’d be so perfect I’d probably die of happiness. I’d die, I tell you. Die.
Honestly, it’s a miracle I’ve been able to live in the same room with him all this time.
…I tried not to think about it, but now it’s all flooding back.
What am I going to do from now on?
As I soaked in the bathtub, which was bigger than the one in Yamamoto’s room, I mulled it over alone.
My future.
Should I go back to Yamamoto’s place?
Or stay here at home?
Yamamoto told me.
That what matters isn’t his decision, but mine. Honestly…
…Come to think of it, why did Yamamoto suggest I come back home in the first place?
He said it was just good timing, but… why do I feel like there’s more to it?
After my bath, I headed to the kitchen. I’d soaked in the hot water too long and wanted something cold, like barley tea.
“Oh.”
“Oh, Mom…”
Mom was in the kitchen.
She was holding a tablet, watching some satisfying “gotcha” videos. The fast-talking voice felt oddly familiar.
“Nice taste.”
“You watch these too?”
“Totally.”
“Right? It’s great. Makes you realize there are people that ridiculous out there.”
“I get that on a deep level.”
…Come to think of it.
“Speaking of, Yamamoto always looks annoyed when he sees those ‘gotcha’ videos.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah. He also looks annoyed when he’s studying. Or when we’re watching those shows that just play viral videos and have comedians overreacting. The only time he looks like he’s enjoying himself is when he’s cleaning.”
“He likes cleaning? That’s rare these days.”
“He doesn’t like it. It’s an obsession. He compulsively buys cleaning supplies and writes long reviews for every product. Even if it’s great, he’ll nitpick something and never give more than four stars. Says it’s ‘with room for improvement.’ Honestly, it’s kind of off-putting.”
“What? That’s hilarious.”
For a while, Mom and I got carried away talking about Yamamoto’s weird habits.
“You sure notice a lot about him, don’t you?”
“W-Well, when you live together, you can’t help but notice stuff!”
“…Right. When you live together.”
Mom had a wistful look on her face. Just then, the “gotcha” video ended.
“What time is Yamamoto heading back tomorrow?”
“…Huh?”
I looked down and shook my head.
“I don’t know.”
“I see… So, what about you?”
“What?”
“Are you staying here, or going back with him?”
I fell silent.
…Normally, considering Dad’s condition and the fact that I’ve been distant from my family until recently…
I should probably stay here.
“…I mean, it’s a bit inconvenient to go back to the city, but this place is familiar. I don’t have to worry about food, clothes, or a roof over my head. Plus, you’re here, Mom… and Dad, too.”
…But.
But, I…
“Sorry. But I want to stay with Yamamoto.”
“…I see.”
Mom was smiling.
“You really like him, don’t you?”
“I-I don’t like him!”
My face turned bright red as I denied it. But seeing how flustered I was, Mom burst into amused laughter.
“…It’s a wonderful connection. Treasure it. Not many people could hit it off with your tsundere dad right from the start like he did.”
“Wait, they hit it off?”
“It was top-tier communication, wasn’t it?”
“That’s what you call good? That guy?”
“…He’s prickly, sure, but you know what makes him happiest? When someone praises you.”
“…Really?”
“Ehh?”
“…I see.”
I had no idea at all.
It hit me that I’ve never really tried to understand Dad until now.
There’s guilt, too.
Even after what I did to him, I’m about to leave home again…
But even so, I still want to stay with Yamamoto.
“Your mind’s made up, huh?”
“…Yeah. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. That’s normal, isn’t it? Leaving your parents’ side. Honestly, it’d be more troubling if you stayed here forever. Everyone has to take responsibility and stand on their own eventually. For you, that time’s now.”
“…Yeah.”
“Well, I’m okay with it, but what about him? You two are still just friends, right?”
“Ugh… don’t hit me where it hurts.”
Well, that’s definitely a worry, no doubt about it.
…But Yamamoto told me before that whether I stay in his room or not, the most important thing is how I feel.
If it’s Yamamoto, surely…
“Well, for now, I’m just glad you seem to be doing okay. And that we got to reunite like this.”
“…Yeah.”
“Yeah… Talking to Akari-chan was the right call. Really.”
“…Huh?”
“You two have always been close, haven’t you, Megumi?”
The moment Akari’s name came up, a dark emotion stirred inside me.
Mom was talking to Akari about me?
And around that same time, Yamamoto asked me to go back home?
…Isn’t the timing just a little too perfect?
No, I don’t know.
Like Yamamoto said earlier, he’s been telling me to go back home since the day we reunited. The timing thing is probably just a fact.
…But still.
I can’t help but remember.
I don’t want to, but I can’t stop remembering.
…The fact that they used to date.
…What if.
What if they’ve actually started going out again?
Just listening to their conversations, it’s painfully obvious how close they are. I can tell.
If those two started dating again, then I…
I’d just be a nuisance to them, no doubt.
…Was the plan to get me to go back home so they could push me out?
Am I not allowed to stay in that house anymore?
I know.
Yamamoto hasn’t said a single word about any of this.
The idea that Akari and Yamamoto are connected in this is all just my speculation.
But.
…But still.
I can’t help but think it.
Really, when did I become so… jealous?
In the end, I couldn’t sleep a wink that night.
Last night, I told Mom I was going back to Yamamoto’s place. But even now, at this hour, I still haven’t told Yamamoto I want to go back with him.
I was scared. Scared of being rejected.
There’s no proof it’d happen, but I was too scared to bring it up.
…Yamamoto started getting ready to leave about thirty minutes ago. We had lunch, he chatted happily with Mom, even asked her to drive him to the station. Then he started preparing at his own pace.
Time’s running out, and there’s no room left to hesitate.
But I still can’t bring myself to say it.
I’m scared.
Scared. So scared.
I can’t say it…
“Thank you for the two days.”
“No problem. Come back again sometime, okay?”
“Sure.”
In the end, I couldn’t say anything to Yamamoto.
I didn’t even see him off. I just stayed curled up on my bed, alone.
…I’m such an idiot.
Yamamoto didn’t even say anything to me.
The idea that he and Akari are back together is just my imagination.
To think I’d let this ruin my relationship with Yamamoto… I’m such an idiot.
“Hayashi.”
Yamamoto came into my room, where I was curled up on my bed.
…Probably to say his final goodbyes.
Yamamoto doesn’t say anything.
We’ve been together for a month. With all the feelings built up, words probably don’t come easily.
I heard Yamamoto take a deep breath.
“Let’s go home.”
Yamamoto said it.
His words of farewell to me…
“Huh?”
“Let’s go home. It’s been a while since you’ve been back home, so how long are you gonna stay curled up there?”
“…Is it okay if I come back?”
I sat up on the bed and looked at Yamamoto.
…Come to think of it.
It feels like it’s been a while since I’ve faced him like this.
“Of course it is. That place is your home too.”
…What is this?
What is this feeling?
This emotion.
It’s painful. It hurts.
But it’s so, so joyful, this feeling.
…What is it?
“Is it okay?”
“Huh?”
“Is it really okay if I come back?”
“Don’t be stupid.”
Yamamoto’s firm tone made me tense up a little.
“Have I ever, even once, told you that you can’t come back to that room?”
…But that tension melted away quickly.
Really. Honestly…
“No. Never.”
“Exactly.”
“Yeah… Yeah!”
I stood up.
I stood up to go back to Yamamoto’s place.
I can’t just sit around like this.
I need to get ready to leave.
Or I’ll miss the train.
“…Yamamoto?”
I noticed something.
It was just the two of us in my room at home. In a closed space.
Yamamoto seemed a little… off.
“…Hayashi, sorry. Can we push going back by a day?”
“Huh?”
…What’s he planning to do?
No way…
No way… here, at my family’s house, of all places?
To delay going back for that…!?
W-What is he…
…But.
If it’s Yamamoto’s request, then I…
“I want to clean this room before we go.”
“We’re going home, okay?”
I grabbed Yamamoto by the collar and dragged him out of the room. He was throwing a fit.
Chapter Four is done. What a twist, huh?
Just three chapters posted today (smiling brightly).
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