Hayashi Megumi’s Love

This is from the heroine’s perspective (the third time).

When I was living through days where the bruises never faded, I often thought about it. I wanted to see Akari again. I wanted to meet her, to talk about the old days. She was my best friend. So, I wanted her to comfort the wounds I’d suffered. I wanted her to save me. I thought about that a lot.

But on that day, I was saved by a certain man, and through a twist of fate, I reunited with Akari.

And then, I learned about Yamamoto and Akari’s past.

I didn’t know. I had no way of knowing. That Akari and Yamamoto had been together.

“…Do you often bring guys over to your place?”

Now that I know, recalling our recent reunion, I realized something.

“Ahn~”

It’s that those two must have had a wonderful love that everyone around them envied.

“Haha, even back in high school, Yamamoto-kun’s quirks weren’t exactly rare, were they?”

Those two probably shared a bond so strong that someone like me could never find a way in.

…When I learned from Akari that they had been dating.

The emotion that welled up inside me was jealousy.

I couldn’t forgive them for getting along so well without me knowing.

I couldn’t forgive them for getting together without ever consulting me.

And above all, I couldn’t forgive myself for feeling angry about it… for harboring such vile emotions toward the two people who were like saviors to me.

Surely, the reason I feel so gloomy about everything right now is because of that.

The fact that I was betrayed by Akari and Yamamoto.

And the fact that, deep down, I judged their precious relationship as a betrayal.

I couldn’t lift my head, unable to make sense of my own weak heart.

…I know what they called me back in high school. Even if I didn’t want to know, it reached my ears anyway.

Overbearing.

Arrogant.

The Queen.

…What kind of queen am I?

Troubled by something like this.

Causing trouble over something like this.

Getting depressed over something like this…!

Just where in me is there anything queenly now?

“Maybe… I should just leave this place after all?”

Those words were my weakness spilling out, born from the self-loathing I felt at that moment.

After saying them, I couldn’t even look at Yamamoto’s face anymore.

I was able to escape from that guy because I reunited with Yamamoto back then.

That guy got arrested, and I’m able to walk freely outside now because Yamamoto was quick-witted and helped me.

I was able to reunite with my old friend because Yamamoto helped me take back my daily life.

The only reason I’m even in this room right now is because Yamamoto wants to help me…!

I had no idea about Yamamoto’s kindness back in high school. Since our reunion, I don’t even know how many times his kindness has saved me.

And yet, I went and showed my weakness again…!

I said something that trampled on his kindness…!

…And I even resorted to cowardly tactics.

I don’t need Yamamoto’s permission to leave this place. If I really wanted to go, I could just leave a note and slip out while he’s asleep.

But instead… I asked Yamamoto if it was okay for me to stay here. I asked him to decide. I pushed the responsibility onto him.

…In the end, I took advantage of his kindness.

I almost wished he’d tell me to get out.

That he didn’t want to see my face anymore.

That he still loved Akari.

I wanted him to reject me outright, to kick me out of here.

…But he.

Yamamoto.

I knew he wouldn’t do that. I knew it all along. And that’s why… I’m truly the worst kind of woman.

“What do you want, Hayashi?”

“Huh?”

“I’m asking how you feel. Do you want to leave this place?”

“…Why?”

Yamamoto’s words were, as always, a little twisted. But at that moment, he said the one thing I least wanted to hear. A surge of emotion burst inside me.

“This isn’t your room. So, whether or not to keep a freeloader isn’t your decision to make.”

And I let my emotions spill out, complaining.

“…Ugh.”

Yamamoto scratched his head, looking a bit troubled. Guilt tightened my chest. I’m the one who brought it up—whether or not to leave this place. It’s absurd to push the responsibility onto Yamamoto in the first place.

And yet, Yamamoto… didn’t show the slightest hint of judging my pathetic emotions.

As always, he was… trying to save me with his twisted words.

“…I’ve told you before, haven’t I? I’m a selfish guy.”

No. The selfish one… is me.

“I mean, it’s pretty messed up, right? At first, I didn’t care if you went back to your ex. I just wanted to do my best and be able to say I did what I could.”

“…That’s…”

He’s calling it cold, but isn’t that just normal? Back then, we were just former classmates—nothing more, nothing less. He had no reason to take risks to help me.

And yet, he helped me…!

He saved me…!

“…You don’t get it, do you?”

Yamamoto… scratched his cheek, looking embarrassed.

“What I’m saying is, a selfish guy like me isn’t asking for my own opinion but yours. …That means. It means… I want you to stay here. That’s what I’m thinking.”

…Right now.

“I want you to stay. But if you don’t want to, I won’t force you. I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to. …So, that’s why I asked for your opinion.”

Looking at the man who was blushing and avoiding my eyes.

I realized something.

…When I found out Akari and Yamamoto were dating.

I was jealous. I felt betrayed by them. Even though I had no right to feel that way, I was consumed by ugly emotions.

I thought I couldn’t forgive them for having a relationship I didn’t know about.

But I was wrong.

I was wrong. This feeling inside me now.

…Because.

Right now, I…

Looking at Yamamoto, embarrassed and avoiding my gaze, my heart felt full.

But thinking that he was once happy with another woman made me crazy with jealousy.

I was happy that Yamamoto comforted me when I was heartbroken.

It hurt to see Yamamoto and Akari being close.

I wanted to stay in this room forever.

I wanted to be with Yamamoto.

“…Why?”

My voice was trembling.

“Why are you… so kind…?”

“Uh, are you seriously crying…?”

Yamamoto was taken aback by my tears. I was shocked at showing him such an embarrassing side of myself.

“Waaah! Waaaaah!”

In the end, I broke down, crying my eyes out while rubbing my hands together.

“Wha…? Huh…? What?!”

Though flustered, Yamamoto came closer with the Vaseline in hand and comforted me.

While being comforted by Yamamoto, despite my tears… I realized my heart felt fulfilled.

Now, I understood.

And I realized there was no more room for excuses.

…That guy.

Yamamoto.

Just having him by my side made me feel complete.

Just learning about a side of him I didn’t know made me sad.

I wanted to be with him forever.

It was completely different from the feelings I had when I started dating that guy.

…It was the first time I’d ever felt this way—embarrassed, wanting to look away, yet wanting to cling to it forever.

This feeling I was experiencing for the first time. I knew instinctively what it was.

This is love.

Chapter three is over! I’m glad I didn’t drag out the backstory too long—it would’ve never ended! But wow, this turned into an absolutely chaotic chapter!

Originally, I planned for Kasahara, the girl, to be a character who just rejected the protagonist and nothing more. I intended for the heroine, who’d grown close to the protagonist, to call her out for rejecting him, have Kasahara badmouth him, and then have the heroine say, “He’s a good guy,” to deepen the bond between the protagonist and heroine. She was supposed to be a mere plot device to strengthen their relationship.

The reason I scrapped that was because it’d make Kasahara a jerk if she was involved in domestic violence or was the best friend in that setup, and it’d make the heroine seem really, really pitiful.

As a result, it got super complicated! What do I do now?!

I’m looking forward to lots of ratings, bookmarks, and feedback!!!