Until the next room is found

The Seabass connects Yokohama Station to Yamashita Park.

Hayashi had suggested boarding that ship, but while we were waiting for the next Seabass, we ended up boarding the Marine Rouge instead.

The Seabass is a practical mode of transport, but the Marine Rouge is a sightseeing ship that circles Yokohama Port. It’s a bit pricier, but if we’re going to ride a ship, why not see views we don’t usually get? Surprisingly, it was me who made that suggestion, and even she was taken aback.

As we boarded the ship from the port, we discovered for the first time that it had a restaurant on board. If we’d known, we wouldn’t have eaten that beef tongue for lunch—we could’ve come here instead. We shared a laugh over it.

Without hesitation, we headed straight for the sky deck. The sky was a flawless blue, not a cloud in sight, as if celebrating our upcoming voyage. It felt like an illusion, almost.

We settled into seats on the sky deck, and as people gradually gathered, the ship set sail. Right at that moment, the giant robot at Yamashita Park began to move. With a loud rumble, it turned toward the departing ship, raising its index finger as if wishing us luck.

“Wow!”

Hayashi let out a sound of awe beside me.

As the ship’s announcement echoed, we passed Daikoku Pier and approached the Bay Bridge. Looking up at the bridge from below, it was nothing short of breathtaking.

Crossing several piers, the ship offered a panoramic view of Tokyo Bay.

I don’t acknowledge the sea on the other shore.

Despite my declaration, the scenery unfolding before me was beautiful, even with the other shore in sight. The deep blue sea, fishing boats gliding freely across it, container ships moving steadily, and in the distance, the faint outline of the Aqua-Line. These were sights you’d never see in everyday life.

“This view is incredible, huh?”

“Yeah, it really is.”

I was so absorbed in the scenery from the sky deck that it took me a while to notice—most of the people who’d come up to the deck were couples. Watching the sea from a ship, making memories with a lover. It was a romantic idea, no doubt about it.

Unlike us, the people here probably didn’t board this ship on a whim. They must have meticulously planned this date, thinking of ways to make their partner happy, and this ship was their destination.

That thought made me feel a little guilty for boarding so casually. But there was no need to apologize, so naturally, I didn’t.

“…So, Hayashi?”

Still, I couldn’t help but wonder.

Faced with the most awe-inspiring moment of the day… what was she thinking?

Sure, we hadn’t planned this to entertain each other like those couples. As always, I was fine as long as I was enjoying myself. She and I… we weren’t lovers, after all.

But still, I asked Hayashi.

…It was.

“Are you having fun?”

We weren’t lovers by any means. But I wanted her to enjoy this. I wanted her to see this irreplaceable scenery from the ship, her eyes sparkling with wonder. That’s what I hoped for.

“…Yeah, I’m having fun.”

“Good to hear.”

“It’s not just because we came here.”

“…Huh?”

“…Oh, sorry. I mean, coming here is part of it.”

“Which is it?”

“…I mean, like… I’m glad I got to come here with you.”

My heart skipped a beat.

“…I’m glad I got to come here with you, of all people.”

I couldn’t find any words.

“What about you?”

…Coming here with Hayashi… what did I feel?

The same.

It was the same.

Right now, I was here with Hayashi, of all people, feeling the same way she did.

…In other words.

“Well, it’s not bad, I guess.”

I was glad I got to come here with Hayashi.

The way I said it didn’t sound like it at all… but that was just the embarrassment raging inside me.

“I see. Not bad, huh?”

Hayashi smiled happily.

As if she’d just heard something from me that made her heart leap.

As if she was overjoyed that her feelings and mine were aligned, she smiled with genuine delight.

I decided to focus on the scenery. If I kept looking at Hayashi, I might start feeling something I shouldn’t. Specifically… the feeling that I didn’t want her to leave my place.

That was the same emotion I’d felt earlier.

But it was an emotion I’d shaken my head to deny, something that shouldn’t be.

Yet, feeling it a second time, it demanded an answer from me.

Why did I have to push her out of my place? It was seeking that answer.

No satisfying answer came to mind.

Well, of course.

Because she… she didn’t interfere with my hobbies, and she helped with the chores at my place. If she left, I’d be inconvenienced, but having her around caused me no trouble at all.

Still, I believed she shouldn’t stay at my place any longer.

…Probably.

Probably, I thought I’d be the one to break.

Not her.

I thought I’d be the one to fall apart.

Back in high school, I didn’t like her. But over those three years, despite her occasional overbearing, queen-like attitude, I came to respect her.

When I learned she was suffering, I couldn’t sit still and offered to let her stay at my place.

I thought it was to protect her.

But lately… I’ve been feeling like she’s the one protecting me. Her selfless kindness made me feel like I was relying on her, leaning into her warmth.

…As expected.

As expected, the high school me was right.

She wasn’t some queen. She was… a little quick to anger, scary when mad, kind, and stubborn.

No, in a way, maybe she was a queen.

Not a tyrannical one, but a nurturing, earth-mother-like queen.

A woman like her had no reason to stay by my side any longer.

“…Do your best from now on, living on your own.”

I offered words of encouragement.

“Well, it’s my second time, so I’ll manage somehow.”

“If you run into trouble, give me a call.”

“Thanks. I’ll probably end up relying on you for a lot.”

“…Take care.”

“…Yeah!”

I had no regrets. I thought I’d feel a bit more regret.

But a clean break like this—what more could I ask for?

Uncharacteristically, I smiled gently, silently wishing for her lasting happiness.

The ship slowly circled Yokohama Port.

The sunlight reflected off the rippling surface of the sea.

Hayashi squinted slightly, perhaps because the light was dazzling. But she looked happy, somehow.

…I probably won’t ever forget this scene unfolding before me.

That’s what I thought.

The next morning, Hayashi left the house a bit early.

Today, she was heading to the real estate agency to sign a contract for a room she’d already viewed.

This place would feel spacious again.

Thinking that, I waited alone for her return.

“I’m back.”

Probably Hayashi’s final greeting.

“Welcome back.”

I responded.

“How’d it go?”

Hayashi’s face as she stepped into the room.

I thought to myself.

…Probably.

Probably, I’d never forget this face of Hayashi’s either.

A wry smile.

A troubled expression.

Hayashi was looking down.

“Uh, what’s wrong?”

“…I’ve got something to talk about.”

Hayashi said.

“I couldn’t sign the contract for the room.”

“Huh?”

“The guarantor… you know, my parents disowned me, right? And I’m still a minor.”

Hayashi gave a helpless, wry smile.

As for me… I was dumbfounded, then it sank in, and then…

“Haha!”

I was laughing.

“Haha. I see. The guarantor. Haha, got it, got it… Hahahaha!”

“Hey, you’re laughing too much at someone’s misfortune!”

“Sorry, sorry. Pfft… Sorry, really, sor—cough. Cough, cough.”

I laughed so hard I started choking, and Hayashi, worried, rubbed my back.

“What are you doing?”

Hayashi’s voice was unusually cold.

“Sorry, sorry. Haha.”

“You’re still laughing, you jerk?”

“No, no, it’s not that. …Man, I was worrying over nothing.”

Hayashi looked at me, wiping away tears of laughter, with a suspicious expression.

“…Yamamoto, do you know what I was about to ask?”

“Hm?”

“Before, you said no, didn’t you? At first.”

Before… she must mean back at the police station.

At that time, Hayashi was looking for a place to stay because she’d been living with her boyfriend. After some back-and-forth, she ended up staying at my place.

But until the very last moment, I’d been against her staying with me.

Hayashi was saying.

She was saying it provocatively.

…Back then, Hayashi had said she’d do anything.

Since coming to my place, she’d lived up to that promise. She took care of all the housework and never interfered with my hobbies.

Her request.

It was probably about staying at my place again, like before.

And she was asking.

Whether my answer was yes or no. That’s what she was asking.

…I was thinking.

She shouldn’t stay at my place. Because she wasn’t someone who should be stuck by someone like me.

But the real her… couldn’t even secure a room on her own. A fragile girl who’d end up on the streets if I refused her.

Well, in the end, it was just an excuse.

I didn’t want to let her end up on the streets.

That excuse, which hadn’t existed before, had now fallen into my lap, and I was ready to toss aside my previous words and thoughts to seize it. That’s all it was.

…But I knew.

Humans can do anything as long as they have a justification.

And humans… I… can only live selfishly.

“Until the next room is found.”

I smiled.

“…Thanks.”

“…Just to check, you’re okay with this, right? Living with someone like me must be a hassle.”

“Yeah, it’s been tough.”

“Hey.”

“But more than that… it’s been fun.”

Fun, huh?

I hadn’t realized she felt that way. I thought living at my place was just a last resort for her, nothing more.

“…I see.”

“Are you happy to hear that?”

“It doesn’t feel bad, I guess.”

Did Hayashi understand what I meant by those words?

“That’s good then.”

Hayashi laughed, exasperated.