Chapter 7 | Admiration and Aspiration

The cram school buzzed with a peculiar tension this time of year. Third-year high school students, bracing for entrance exams after the New Year, filled the air with a palpable sense of urgency—an atmosphere akin to the front lines of an academic war.

For me, having attended this cram school since my first year, this vibe was entirely new. If it had been the old me, before summer break, I’d have buckled under the pressure. I’d have bolted from the study room, muttering about why I even bothered toiling away here.

Even now, I didn’t have grand dreams or clear ambitions. But for the moment, my sights were set on acing the national mock exam next month, and I’d been preparing accordingly.

Makura had taught me that studying itself was never meaningless—

—Seven p.m.

Stepping out of the cram school, I was greeted by a world already cloaked in darkness. Squinting, I caught the faint, flickering red glow of the sunset lingering on the western horizon.

I took a deep breath, letting the cool air flow through my throat and fill my lungs. I planned to grab a drink and take a break.

But as I reached for my phone while walking, I froze.

Makura Koiro’s name glowed on the screen.

I hurriedly tapped the message.

“Hey, Kuruha-chan’s coming over now. What about you, Manamichi-kun?”

An invitation from Makura. …Or perhaps, knowing her, a subtle cry for help.

I remembered the time Uyama had shown up unannounced. We’d startled her in Makura’s room, looking like recruiters for some shady cult. I’d secretly worried we’d traumatized her, but Uyama was unfazed.

“I’m here to check if senpai’s been slacking off!” she’d declared, bursting into Makura’s room with the energy of a self-appointed drill sergeant.

“Kuruha-chan, oissu! What’re we doing today? Games? Manga?”

“Training, of course! It’s my daily routine!”

“Ehh? No way, I’m too tired to move!”

“No excuses! You’ve gotta stay sharp! You’ll lose your stamina!”

“Fine, if you beat me at a game, I’ll do it.”

Makura never lost to Uyama at games, so the training never happened.

Another day, on a Saturday evening, Uyama showed up again, undeterred.

“Today’s the day! No slacking allowed!”

“Ehh, but it’s the weekend…”

“Exactly because it’s the weekend! Let’s go running like we used to! Your muscles must be itching to move!”

“No way… I only ate a single piece of bread for lunch today. If I run, I’ll burn too many calories and collapse!”

“Calories are meant to be burned! Come on, let’s go!”

“Ugh, I’m so hungry, I’m getting dizzy… I need to stay home and slack off today. Actually, I already ordered food for delivery. If you’re okay with running after we eat, I’ll go with you.”

“W-Well, if that’s the case…”

Uyama relented, only to discover Makura had ordered delivery pizza. I was supposed to come over to hang out that night, and Makura had ordered extra for me, but it turned into an impromptu pizza party with Uyama joining in. Naturally, we all got stuffed, and the running plan fizzled out.

Then there was another night.

“It’s already dark outside, so we’ll train indoors today! Let’s do that ultimate routine you taught me, Koyuna-senpai!”

“Oh, but Manamichi-kun’s here.”

“Negoro-senpai’s joining us, right?”

“Me too!?”

“You’re joining, right!!”

The pressure was relentless.

“Everyone here has to participate, no exceptions!” Uyama insisted, her enthusiasm practically sparking.

That’s when, without warning, the front door—left unlocked—swung open, and Yako-san strolled in.

“Yo, Koiro! Oh, you’ve got guests? A boy… and a cute girl?”

“Yako-chan, oissu. This is Kuruha-chan, my kouhai from my idol days.”

“H-Hello,” Uyama stammered.

Yako-san gave a slight nod, studying Uyama closely before turning back to Makura. “Hoo, Koiro’s got friends over, huh? So, what were you all up to?”

“Now? Just chilling in my room as usual.”

“Got it. Any plans for later?”

“Hmm? Not really.”

“Hey, wait—” Uyama interjected, flustered.

“Perfect! Let’s have a drinking party then!” Yako-san declared.

“Yay! Drinking party! Most of us are too young to drink, but let’s have fun!”

“True… Wish I could turn under twenty with some Othello-style logic. Listen up, today’s snack is the story of how my boyfriend was cheating with a younger girl!”

“I’ll check the fridge and see if I can whip up some snacks!” Makura offered.

“Thanks, Koiro! Alright, you kids, listen. On SNS, there was this girl who kept commenting on my boyfriend’s posts. I thought, ‘Who’s this chick?’ But then, one day, their interactions just stopped. You’d think that’s a relief, right? Wrong. That’s a red flag. When their SNS chats disappear, it means they’re probably meeting in person. Like, how did things even get that far, that jerk…”

“Um, about the training…” Uyama tried to interject.

And so, with Yako-san’s intrusion, the night morphed into a booze-free drinking party—really just Yako-san’s love life rant fest—with a bunch of minors.

That’s how it’s been. Uyama kept coming over, waging her endless battle against Makura’s slothful tendencies. Makura, for her part, seemed to enjoy it, flashing innocent smiles whenever Uyama was around. I’d never actually seen her forced into training, though. When Uyama got too pushy, Makura would call out, “Manamichi-kun, help!” and it was my job to steer the conversation elsewhere.

I’d heard Uyama looked up to Kamakura Koyuna. Maybe, by visiting like this, she was secretly hoping to convince Makura to return to her idol days.

Well, that was just my guess.

“I’ll grab a drink on the way to her place…”

I turned on my heel to head back to the study room and grab my bag.

＊

“I’ll leave the door unlocked, so just come on in!”

Makura’s reply to my message was as casual as ever. Wasn’t that a bit reckless? Had Uyama already arrived? Quickening my pace through the residential streets, lit only by the soft glow of streetlights, I headed toward Makura’s house.

When I reached her room, I gripped the doorknob. True to her word, it was unlocked. I eased the door open, ready to call out—then froze.

A suspicious sound hit my ears.

“—Nngh, ah! It… it feels good. Right there, right there!”

What in the world were they doing!? That was Makura’s voice, wasn’t it? Wait, what…

Panicking, I hurriedly shut the door behind me to keep the sound from escaping. This could be bad in so many ways… But, uh, should I even go in?

Her oddly sultry tone is making me imagine weird things… But no way, she knows I’m coming, so she wouldn’t be doing anything she wouldn’t want me to see.

Besides, her visitor list was pretty short. It had to be just Uyama, right?

“Without Manamichi-kun around, I don’t have anyone to play with, so I usually just do solo play. It’s tough when I go on difficult hunts,” Makura had said before.

—Wait a second.

Solo? Solo play? She’s doing solo play? Hunting alone!?

I unconsciously swallowed hard.

Either way, I couldn’t just stand in the hallway forever. Creeping toward the room’s door, I placed my hand on the knob, pressing my face close. Slowly, quietly, I turned it and peeked inside.

“Ah! There! It hurts! Hurts but feels good!”

On the bed, someone was straddling someone else. Makura—and Uyama. Every time Uyama pressed down, Makura let out a reflexive moan.

Could this be…

“What’re you doing?”

Both of them whipped around at my voice.

“Oh, Manamichi-kun! I was waiting for you! Kuruha-chan’s giving me a massage right now.”

“A massage…”

…Yeah, that’s what I thought! It looked like that, so I asked just to be sure, and I’m glad I was right. If I’d been wrong, I’d have been in serious trouble. If this wasn’t a massage, the only other thing it could be was something scandalous…

“But why a massage all of a sudden?”

Uyama sat up, her navy-blue sailor uniform catching my eye—probably her middle school uniform, one I hadn’t seen her wear before. Apparently, middle schoolers these days made pit stops at sloth dens after class. …Okay, maybe that was too specific an example.

“It’s obvious! Massages are skinship with your muscles!” Uyama chirped brightly.

“Skinship…?”

“Yes! By touching like this, you loosen up, heal, and build trust. And then, on to the next workout! Come on, Koyuna-senpai, let’s do this!”

Still straddling Makura, Uyama pumped her fists with enthusiasm.

“Oh no, this is tough. Maybe we haven’t built enough trust yet. My muscles seem to hate the idea of getting up,” Makura groaned, sprawled limply across the bed in polka-dot pajamas. Her voice was flat, almost robotic, as she pressed one cheek into the sheets, her face melting into a blissful, dreamy expression.

“Hey, senpai! You’re slacking again! We agreed you’d train after the massage!”

“But my body really won’t get up. I’m too delicate an otome to fight gravity.”

“No way, senpai. I haven’t forgotten how you jumped up and ran to the hallway to check when I said, ‘I brought a chocolate cake as a souvenir, so I’ll put it in the fridge!’”

“Chocolate’s amazing, right? Even at the convenience store, I get sucked into the chocolate aisle. It probably has a stronger pull than gravity.”

“What are you even saying! Hurry up and get up!”

Uyama tugged at Makura’s arm, but Makura just giggled, her smile radiant.

“But I love that you remembered I love chocolate and brought me a chocolate cake, Kuruha-chan. I love you!”

“L-Love…?”

Uyama, still gripping Makura’s arm, froze as if caught off guard.

“I love you. I hope my precious Kuruha-chan sleeps well… Goodnight.”

“Wait a second! Why are you sneaking in a ‘let’s sleep together’ vibe! No way, get up! After I came all this way!”

“Ugh, you caught me… Manamichi-kun!”

As usual, Makura turned to me for rescue, her tone playful. It was reassuring to see her enjoying herself, even in the midst of this chaos.

“Do you train every day, Uyama? You seem to love working out.”

To shift the focus off Makura, I tossed out a question.

“Yes, of course! It’s important for building a body that can move freely!” Uyama replied, her enthusiasm undimmed even when talking to me.

“Got it. You were saying some profound stuff earlier, too. About skinship and trust and all that. You really love it, huh?”

“Right? Those are practically famous quotes! And they’re all things Koyuna-senpai told me!”

“Huh? Makura?”

“Yes! I got into training because of Koyuna-senpai. She told me I have to do it every day without fail!”

I glanced at Makura, who looked faintly awkward, her gaze sliding along the bedsheets.

“You liked training?”

“Oh, come on, don’t bring up my youthful days!” she protested.

“You’re a current high school girl, what are you talking about?” I couldn’t help but retort at her old-lady-style deflection.

Then Uyama chimed in, “‘In this group, I’m the muscle rep.’ ‘I can’t calm down unless I’m putting stress on my muscles.’ ‘Protein—it’s the powder of the gods.’ Koyuna-senpai shared so many famous quotes with us.”

She rattled off these so-called quotes—more like infamous sayings.

“‘As it happens, I only trust my own muscles. Muscles never betray you; they’re always there for you. So, wanna train with me? It’s pretty great to always have a reliable buddy by your side, right?’”

“…Wow.”

“‘—Yeah, that’s right. For me, training is a conversation with my true self… When you train your muscles, you sometimes meet a version of yourself you didn’t know. That happens when you push your body to its limits. One more rep, just one more—can you really not do it? You keep asking yourself, searching for who you are. Heh, surprisingly, this applies to a lot of things in life—’”

Holy crap, that’s intense… Her tone was completely different from her usual carefree drawl.

“Makura, you were a muscle character?” I blurted out, noticing her face flush a vivid red, likely from embarrassment.

“N-No! Not at all! I trained, sure, but just enough for work… Really!” Makura protested, sitting up at last, unable to brush it off so casually anymore. “There was a time when I was obsessed with this muscle-loving manga character. I started saying stuff like that because it was fun, and it just… snowballed…”

“Oh, so that’s where those weird lines came from.”

“Yeah. I wanted to say cool stuff like that, so I started teaching Kuruha-chan, who’d just joined the group, about training. But Kuruha-chan’s super serious and hardworking…”

“And she got hooked on training…”

The pieces were falling into place.

“So, the fact that Uyama’s hounding you about training now is basically your own fault, isn’t it?”

“Ugh…” Makura let out a bitter groan, clearly aware of her role in this.

“Exactly, exactly! Take responsibility!” Uyama jumped in, seizing the moment.

“But I’m too old for that kind of training now. Help me!” Makura pleaded, turning to me once again.

You just want to slack off, don’t you…

I was starting to think she should listen to Uyama and at least exercise a bit. “I know you’re dead set on slacking, but isn’t it true that even slacking is better when you’re healthy?”

“Manamichi-kun…” Makura murmured, her expression troubled as she pressed a finger to her lips, mulling it over.

“Also, I’m just kinda worried about your health.” She stayed cooped up all weekend and skipped PE classes even when she went to school…

“Mmm… If Manamichi-kun says so… Just this once…” she relented, her voice reluctant.

Uyama’s face lit up, needless to say.

We cleared the low table, and the three of us spread out in the small room. We were doing a muscle-training dance Makura had taught Uyama in the past, one that worked out the whole body. There was a video online of a certain muscle-bound celebrity performing it, so we played it on the TV and followed along.

Uyama and Makura knew the routine perfectly, but I was a complete beginner, fumbling to mimic the video as best I could.

“Negoro-senpai! Twist your body more! Touch your toes properly!” Uyama barked.

“O-Okay!”

“What are you doing! Your hips are still floating! That won’t put any stress on your pecs!”

“Y-Yes, ma’am!”

Uyama was a total drill sergeant. The workout was brutally tough, designed to target all sorts of muscle groups with movements that switched so quickly to the music’s tempo there was no time to rest. Not that I could talk—I didn’t exercise on my own either, so jumping into this routine out of nowhere was grueling…

“Ahahaha, Manamichi-kun, you’re totally worn out!” Makura’s voice rang out, laced with laughter. I turned to see her moving with the rhythm—one, two, one-two-three, throwing punches alternately, then taking big steps side to side, clapping her hands above her head.

“Hai! Hai! It’s all about moving to the music! Hai! Hai!” she chanted.

“Y-You’re way too energetic…” I gasped.

The sin of sloth, usually so laid-back, danced with incredible enthusiasm. Her movements were light and agile, almost unbelievable for someone who’d retired from the stage.

“Come on, Kuruha-chan! Hai! Hai!”

“As expected of senpai! You’re not tired at all, that’s amazing! Have you really not been exercising?”

“I haven’t, but this much is… Well, somehow, when I hear this song, my body just moves on its own.”

“A stamina monster…” Uyama muttered, stunned.

Makura showed no signs of slowing down, dancing with a dazzling smile, as if she were back on stage. Was it talent, or the result of all the effort she’d put in over the years? Mesmerized by this glimpse of a former top idol, I stopped moving for a moment, staring in awe.

“Hey, Negoro-senpai, no slacking! That’s pathetic!” Uyama’s sharp voice snapped me back.

＊

Three days later, Uyama showed up again, fresh from school in her uniform. Makura and I were already at her place, casually playing games.

“Ugh, you’re slacking again! Let’s exercise like last time!” Uyama demanded.

“Ehh, no way, not today!” Makura protested.

“What!? You were so into it when we danced! Didn’t you teach me that ‘consistency is power,’ senpai?”

“Did I say something that macho-sounding?” Makura tilted her head.

“Hey… Negoro-senpai, back me up like last time!”

“Even if you say that…” Last time, we’d managed to steer things toward exercise naturally, but Makura had stressed multiple times it was “just that once,” so it felt like a tough sell today.

To my vague response, Uyama’s piercing gaze turned on me. “Negoro-senpai, you’re always just loafing around here too… Why do you keep coming over and doing nothing? You’re not Koyuna-senpai’s boyfriend, right? So why… Are you just bored?”

“Kuruha-chan…” A quiet voice cut through from behind me, its tone noticeably different from Makura’s usual carefree lilt. Her profile showed puffed-up cheeks, clearly upset.

“Manamichi-kun is an amazing person! He’s super smart! He goes to cram school and is the best at studying in our school!”

Was she angry because I was being mocked? …What’s this? My chest feels warm.

“He’s a real genius. And that kind of person comes all the way here. That’s what makes my sloth den so great!”

So great… Oi, Makura, it sounds like you’re partly using this to advertise. I got emotional for nothing.

“Really?” Uyama glanced at my face, her skepticism obvious.

“No, no, I’m not a genius at all…” I muttered. Honestly, I just studied a bit harder than most. If someone asked, “So what?” I’d have no answer. I hadn’t accomplished anything noteworthy with my brain to boast about… This wasn’t humility; it was my genuine belief.

Makura clapped her hands, breaking the moment. “That’s it! Kuruha-chan, you said you can’t go to school much and struggle to keep up with studies, right? Why not have Manamichi-kun tutor you?”

“Huh?” Uyama’s eyes widened, her gaze flicking to me in surprise.

Middle school-level studies wouldn’t be an issue. I had time, and I didn’t mind teaching. As I considered this, Uyama’s voice cut through.

“…Negoro-senpai, are you really good at studying?” Her expression dripped with doubt.

“W-Why are you so suspicious all of a sudden?” I’d been humble earlier, but being doubted like this stung. “It’s like they say, ‘A skilled hawk hides its talons.’”

How rude. Well, I guess I hadn’t had chances to show off my brains or knowledge. Lately, I’d mostly been playing the straight man to Makura when she got hyped up by Uyama’s visits. That was probably why.

“Hides its talons…? Shy?” Uyama mumbled, clearly struggling with the metaphor.

And it seems she really struggled with studies. “By the way, what subject are we doing? You’re in second year, right?”

“Are we really doing this? …Well, I haven’t finished my math homework, so let’s start with that.” Still looking reluctant, Uyama went to grab her homework from her bag by the door.

At the same time, a sigh escaped someone who’d clearly just dodged a bullet. That someone—Makura—picked up the controller from the floor and flopped onto the bed.

“Hey, senpai, what about studying?” Uyama called out, placing her textbook, notebook, and writing tools on the low table.

“Oh, studying? Yeah, that’s a no-go for me,” Makura replied breezily.

“Not just studying—training too, right? Come on, Negoro-senpai’s here to teach, isn’t he? And wasn’t it you, Koyuna-senpai, who suggested I get tutoring?”

“T-That was just for you, Kuruha-chan…” Makura stammered.

The reliable kouhai and the sloth-sick senpai were at it again. Uyama clearly couldn’t stand seeing Makura slack off, whether it was exercise or anything else.

I wanted to back Makura up, but I sensed an opportunity. “Yeah, let’s all three do it!”

“What, Manamichi-kun!?” Makura yelped.

“Like I said before, you barely passed the summer remedial tests, but you’ll need to study to avoid failing the finals. Kumada-sensei mentioned it too, right?”

“Ugh, w-well…” Makura faltered.

“I can help you study now.” I’d been scheming to get Makura to study since summer break. If she bombed the end-of-term finals, she’d face remedial classes again—or worse, she might have to repeat a year. I really wanted her to at least score above the minimum threshold. But whenever studying came up, Makura dodged with her usual evasiveness, slipping away.

Today was the turning point. The momentum was here, and I had an ally.

“Alright, senpai, take responsibility! Let’s all do it!” Uyama chimed in.

“Yeah, let’s do it! Just for today, let’s study!” I added.

With Uyama and me teaming up to coax her, Makura sighed. “…Fine. If it’s for my sake… Go easy on me, Manamichi-kun.”

Resigned, she let go of the controller and flopped onto a cushion nearby. The three of us gathered around the small low table and started studying. I watched their progress, stepping in when they seemed to need help.

After a while, Makura paused her pen and turned to Uyama casually. “Kuruha-chan, you don’t go to school much, do you?”

“Yeah, if I have work on weekdays, I prioritize that,” Uyama replied.

“Got it. Things have really taken off since your major debut, huh? Busy?”

“Thanks to that, for now, yeah.”

“You’re working hard. Good job, good job.” Makura reached out to pat Uyama’s head. Uyama didn’t seem to mind, letting her head be stroked.

I wondered what Makura thought of her former group’s success. From what I could tell, she was smiling casually, but her deeper feelings were unreadable.

We studied for a few more minutes. Then, as if losing focus, Makura let out an “Ngh” and stretched, slumping onto the table. “Hey, Manamichi-kun. I totally don’t get what this question’s asking.”

“Hm? The solution? This one has a formula—”

“No, not that. I don’t get the societal significance of a high school girl like me solving this.”

“You’re stuck on that!?” Seriously, Makura, your grades are in danger… I’m so worried about finals. At worst, I hope the school offers some kind of leniency.

While I was focused on Makura, Uyama, sitting beside her, stuck a mechanical pencil between her nose and lips, frowning with a “Mmm.”

“What’s up?” I asked.

“I don’t get what this question’s asking.”

Sounds like someone else I know.

“…Alright, let’s hear it.”

“‘Q. You run from home to the park at 150 meters per minute and walk back at 60 meters per minute, taking 10 minutes longer to return. Find the distance from home to the park.’ Why doesn’t he run back too!?”

“Uh, well, that’s just how the problem is…”

There it was—the classic kid in class who nitpicks math problems. I was quietly thinking this when…

“No way, you have to run back too, or it’s pointless! Pushing yourself is what matters! And at the park, you need to do proper intervals. Never forget to talk to your muscles!”

“It’s a training perspective!?” Like senpai, like kouhai, I guess.

“Geez, don’t bring your muscle-brain logic into math…”

“Muscle-brain…? Muscles in the brain? That sounds worth training!”

“W-Wait, you… You’re not mistaking ‘sarcasm’ for a type of muscle, are you?”

“No way! I know every muscle in the body, and there’s no such thing!”

“Hold on, you’re too jacked!” I couldn’t help but glance at Makura.

“Kuruha-chan, are you trying to market yourself as a muscle character?” Makura asked, her tone tinged with surprise.

“Not really. But you’re the one who taught me how great training is, senpai.”

“W-Well, that’s true, and I know training’s important. But you’ve already surpassed the me from back then.”

“Really? Yay! I’ve got Koyuna-senpai’s seal of approval!” Uyama beamed, clearly thrilled. You can tell she really admires Makura—so much that she’s mimicking the weird muscle character Makura played for fun.

Makura let out an exasperated but fond chuckle, her profile softening as she watched Uyama with a gentle gaze, like she was looking at something dear.

＊

Stepping outside, I found the world cloaked in darkness. Days when I went to Makura’s after school always ended with me heading home at night. When Uyama came over, we usually wrapped up around 8 p.m. to accommodate her. She was a middle schooler, so keeping her out too late wasn’t an option. The streets could be dangerous at night, so I’d once offered to walk her to the station, but she shot me down with, “Why with Negoro-senpai!?” Apparently, she was more scared of being photographed walking with me. To avoid recognition, she wore a large black hoodie, a cap pulled low, or a mask.

To be extra cautious, Uyama always left Makura’s place separately from me. That day, too, she headed out first. I exited the room afterward, starting my walk home alone.

“……”

After about 20 meters, I noticed something off. When I stopped, the presence behind me kept its distance and stopped too.

“…Never thought I’d get stalked by an idol,” I called out.

The figure stepped out from behind a utility pole with ease. “You caught me way too fast. I was trying to find a good spot to call out to you.”

Uyama jogged over with quick steps.

“What’s up? Need something?”

“Yeah, just a bit. How about over there, behind the cars in that parking lot?”

“Uh, what do you mean by ‘how about’…?” Her sudden suggestion threw me off.

“I thought you didn’t even like me.”

“Well, I’m still suspicious of you. I mean, what kind of shady tactics did you use to just waltz into a former idol’s house like it’s nothing? You’re like a mysterious high school boy intruder.”

High school boy intruder… So there’s a category for intruders now?

“But, including that, I’ve been wanting to talk to you once.”

“Talk?”

“Yeah.” Standing in the middle of the road wasn’t great, so I agreed to move to the parking lot as she suggested.

“Hey, senpai, you can ask me anything!” Uyama said as we walked.

“Ask you?”

“Yeah! Anything you want to know about Uyama Kuruha?”

“…Favorite food?”

Uyama whipped around, looking shocked. “Senpai, you’re way too uninterested! I’m a popular idol, you know!? ……Udon.”

Well, I figured I’d keep it safe—

“My turn! Why do you keep hanging out at Koyuna-senpai’s place all the time? What’s your relationship?”

“Can’t you stick to favorite food-level questions too…” I muttered.

“Nope. One question is one question.” I tried to set a boundary, but it didn’t work. She went straight for the core.

We reached the parking lot, slipping behind a car where the streetlights kept it from being too dark. Now, how to answer…

As I hesitated, Uyama fired off, “Senpai, do you like Koyuna-senpai?”

“W-What!? No, it’s not like that…” I stammered.

“Be honest. I won’t get mad. It’s only natural to fall for someone as cute as her when you’re around her so much.”

“It’s not that. It’s more like… Makura’s my ideal person?”

“Ideal person…” Uyama echoed, her voice softening.

Makura was my ideal person. There was no lie in that. She pursued what she wanted with clear conviction. I admired that and started hanging out with her because of it. Come to think of it, Uyama too—

I recalled the quiet words she’d let slip before. “Yeah, ideal—admiration.”

When I echoed her words, Uyama’s eyes widened as if something clicked. “Admiration…? You mean for the current Koyuna-senpai?”

“Y-Yeah.”

The current Koyuna-senpai… Her phrasing lingered in my mind, but before I could process it, Uyama leaned in close, her eyes sparkling under the streetlight, mirroring my face. “I want to hear more about that!”

“Why do you care so much about me and Makura…?”

“Please!” The next moment, Uyama bowed deeply with a burst of energy.

I instinctively stepped back. She was incredibly serious, not lifting her head. Despite initially seeing me as a rival, Uyama always used polite language, even with me. I’d known it before, but she was a genuinely earnest and straightforward good kid at heart.

I couldn’t possibly refuse a request from such a girl, bowing like this. “…Makura and I met at the start of summer break when I was asked by a teacher to deliver remedial assignments to her.”

At the sound of my voice, Uyama swiftly raised her head, nodding eagerly. I explained my relationship with Makura briefly, careful to avoid any misunderstandings. Of course, I kept anything about Makura’s past under wraps.

I explained my relationship with Makura briefly, careful to avoid any misunderstandings, keeping her past under wraps. “As you can see, Makura’s a slacker, but that’s the life she’s chosen for herself. No matter what anyone says, she lives fully by her own decisions without wavering. That’s something I couldn’t do… I admired that, so I started visiting her place.”

I couldn’t exactly say I was charmed by Makura’s use of the word “depravity,” but I wasn’t lying either. We spent the summer together from there.

Uyama listened quietly to a few of my summer stories, nodding occasionally, her gaze fixed on the empty ground about a meter ahead. I also shared what I thought was necessary about my own past. “After watching fireworks together, I skipped cram school for the first time in my life. It’s a small thing, but I felt like I’d changed a bit. Honestly, that was thanks to Makura.”

“I see. So you and Koyuna-senpai are still…” Uyama murmured, her head lifting for the first time in a while. Her soft gaze caught me off guard—I never imagined she’d look at me like that.

“Got it. I understand. Thank you.”

“Did that help? Well, I hope you get that my relationship with Makura isn’t about liking or disliking her in that way.”

“Hmm, I’m not so sure about that,” Uyama replied, her tone teasing.

Not so sure?

“—The first time I learned about Koyuna-senpai was when I was in elementary school,” she began, ignoring my question.

A story about her and Makura, I assumed. I quickly focused my attention.

“I’d been an idol fan since I was little, influenced by anime I watched. I wasn’t satisfied with just mainstream idols and got into underground ones too. With that weird talent kids have, I memorized tons of idol group names and members, which my mom found exasperating.”

“You really loved idols, huh?”

“Yes! I couldn’t go to many live shows as an elementary schooler, so I mostly watched performance videos. I’d ignore studying to stare at my phone all day. Eventually, my mom got mad and said, ‘You don’t have to study, but do something useful for your future!’”

“That’s better than being told to just study.” Honestly, I was jealous.

“Well, yeah. My mom’s pretty understanding of kids’ feelings.” Uyama let out a light chuckle before turning serious again, taking a small breath. “The center of the Seven Little Elves, Kamakura Koyuna. Even to my elementary school eyes, she was clearly different from other idols. Her looks, voice, dance performance—everything made her the best active idol. It made no sense that she was underground. My mom was already kinda anti-idol by then, but I used my ‘once-in-a-lifetime request’ to get her to take me to my first underground idol live. It wasn’t a big hall or arena, just a small live house. But that made the packed crowd’s energy insane, the stage felt so close and sparkly, and seeing Kamakura Koyuna live completely blew me away. It was like a dream.”

Imagining the Makura who’s always lounging around, the contrast was so jarring it was disorienting. But it was true—she was a top idol. And young Uyama went to meet that Makura. Her dreamlike story didn’t end there.

“After the show, there was time to shake hands or take photos with the idols. The line was huge, but of course, I went to Koyuna-senpai. The moment we met, she said, ‘Thanks for coming! Wait, omg, you’re so cute! You’re like an idol! Seriously!’ I was over the moon. I knew it was probably flattery or just her being nice since kids were rare, but I blurted out, ‘C-Can I become an idol?’” Even now, as she told the story, Uyama seemed embarrassed, fidgeting and shrinking into herself.

“Idols were something to watch, cheer for, receive from… I’d never even thought about becoming one. But the excitement of the live got to me, and I just said it… And then, Koyuna-senpai gave me the most amazing response.”

“Oh? What was it?”

“She crouched down to my eye level and said, ‘Only people who work really hard can become idols. If you work super hard, you can be one. It’s simple but everything. If you want to, give it your all. I’m cheering for you!’”

“Basically, ‘work hard.’”

“Well, yeah, that sums it up. But she was right. You can’t start anything without diving in and working hard. Only those who put in that effort can become idols—it’s obvious. And… she said she was cheering for me. I wanted to shine on stage like Koyuna-senpai someday. There’s something about a truly captivating idol that stirs the hearts of those who see them.”

From that day, Uyama began chasing her dream with effort. “Like she said, I worked really hard. I practiced dancing, trained my vocals. All the while, my goal was Kamakura Koyuna—my idol, my aspiration. I watched her performances on video over and over, working to become like her. I never imagined I’d become a member of the Seven Little Elves. When I passed the open audition for new members, I was so happy. I could stand on the same stage as Koyuna-senpai, work hard while watching her back—”

“…You worked incredibly hard.”

“Yes. Just like Koyuna-senpai told me. But what happened after… you probably know—” Uyama cut herself off.

I could guess what came next. Makura disappeared. To the public—and to Uyama—the reason was never revealed.

“It felt like my role model vanished overnight… Even when I became an idol, I didn’t have specific goals for this world. I just planned to keep chasing Koyuna-senpai’s back. I’d only ever looked at her, so when she was suddenly gone, I didn’t know what I wanted or why I was even an idol anymore…”

“I see…”

Uyama nodded deeply at my response. “Honestly, I wanted her to come back, so I wandered around here hoping to see her. But even when I got the chance to meet her, I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. There must’ve been a reason she left the group. Thinking she might’ve been struggling with something, I couldn’t just… If I could just see her perform again, even once, shining like before, maybe I could use that as a guide to keep going—”

“Sorry for intruding on your time together,” Uyama said, bowing slightly.

Uyama and Makura’s reunion wasn’t a coincidence. There was a clear reason she kept visiting the room. But, out of consideration for Makura, Uyama couldn’t voice her true feelings. I’d once overheard her mutter that Kamakura Koyuna was her idol, and she asked me to keep it a secret. From the start, she’d been mindful of Makura’s feelings.

Now, hearing Uyama’s hopes and wishes, I had no words to offer in return. As she considered, it would be too much for the current Makura…

“I really, truly respected the idol-era Koyuna-senpai. But you admire the current Koyuna-senpai, right? Hearing that made me a little happy.”

“Happy?” I asked.

“It reminded me that Koyuna-senpai is an amazing person.” Uyama gave a light, airy smile, but the faint, fleeting shadow in her expression wasn’t my imagination. “I’m so, so grateful for her telling me to work hard back then. Thanks to her, I got to see incredible sights—treasures of my life. So I think I shouldn’t ask any more of her.”

Her admired senpai. From the day we first met, Uyama had spoken those words. Now, the reason for her “admiration” and why she appeared before us became clear. We’d opened up to each other, understanding just a little more—but…

I felt I had to say something. But while I hesitated, searching for words, Uyama bowed again.

“Thank you for today, Negoro-senpai. I’m sorry for treating you like a suspicious person.”

With a light wave, Uyama dashed off into the night.

I stood alone in the parking lot, letting out a quiet sigh. The sin of sloth, it seemed, had changed someone’s life even in her previous career. Like Uyama, I was reminded once again what an incredible person Makura was.

There must be countless others who were captivated by her—adored by masses, showered with applause, idolized, and held up as an object of aspiration.

But among them, was there anyone who truly considered her inner heart?

I understood Uyama’s feelings. Her admiration, her longing, her quiet hope to see Makura shine again—they were raw and real.

But I also knew Makura’s circumstances. If I told her about Uyama’s story, it would surely weigh on her, stirring up burdens she’d left behind. Uyama’s careful consideration would be for nothing.

To her fans, my being close to Makura might seem like I’d slipped through some unfair backdoor. An intruder in her world, as Uyama had half-jokingly called me.

Even so, this was my privilege. I wanted to stay by her side, watching her live the life she’d chosen, unswayed by the expectations of others.