Hayashi Megumi’s Unease
This chapter is probably going to be entirely from the heroine’s perspective. (I got too lazy to write it in the foreword.)
Back then, I couldn’t stand Yamamoto’s brazen attitude, and from that point on, I started to dislike him one-sidedly.
…That’s right.
That’s how it was.
I’d completely forgotten about that past.
Why is that?
Well, it was just a school festival, after all. The fact that the after-party got canceled one year probably became less and less important as time went on. That’s probably it.
“…Hey, Akari, did you remember?”
After parting ways with Ito and Ota, Akari and I were swaying on the train home. Ito and Ota were apparently staying at a business hotel in the city tonight.
They said they’d be exploring the city tomorrow too and invited us to join them, but Akari made up some excuse to turn them down, and seeing that, I went along with it.
My question to Akari was vague, lacking a subject.
But it seemed Akari had been thinking about something since we were at the izakaya, and she understood what I was asking.
“If you’re talking about the after-party from our first year, yeah, I remember.”
“…I see.”
I tightened my grip on the strap I was holding.
“I forgot. Completely.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
I nodded solemnly.
Right now, I was feeling a pang of guilt toward Yamamoto. Maybe it’s because we’ve gotten close. Something I’d completely forgotten about had led to him being ostracized by the class. That’s what I felt guilty about.
“…Well, it can’t be helped.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah. Definitely.”
For Akari, it was rare for her to state something so firmly.
Well, if Akari says so, then it must be true.
I decided to accept my inner feelings.
…But a slight doubt lingered.
More than anything, it was a doubt born from the same reason I felt guilty earlier.
Right now, I’m living with Yamamoto.
Right now, I have feelings for Yamamoto.
For the past month or so, I’ve been with Yamamoto almost every day, seeing all sorts of sides to him.
The side of him that helped me.
The side of him that was pathetic.
The side of him obsessed with cleaning.
And the side of him that smiles.
Seeing all these sides of him made me think. It gave rise to a doubt, a sense of unease.
That day, Yamamoto had said it.
He forgot to order the firewood for the campfire.
…Was that really true?
No, I’m not doubting that the firewood order for the campfire was forgotten. The fact is, the after-party for the culture festival didn’t happen that day, so there’s no denying that was the cause.
But what I’m doubting is…
Was that forgotten order really Yamamoto’s fault…?
…That guy.
He’s diligent.
He’s meticulous.
He’s thorough.
He’s a guy who pathologically hates half-measures.
Would a guy like that… really make such a basic, elementary mistake as forgetting to order the firewood for the campfire used at the after-party?
“Akari, have you heard anything from Yamamoto?”
Weakly, Akari shook her head in response to my question.
“…I see.”
“Hey, Meg?”
“So, Akari, who was on the culture festival committee in your class during our first year?”
Without thinking, I cut off Akari’s words.
She must’ve had something to say because, unusually for Akari, her face darkened slightly.
For a moment, Akari hesitated.
“…Maeda-kun. He was in our class during our third year, right?”
“That guy, huh?”
Maeda was, if I recall, part of the soccer club. I remember him being loud but never saying anything particularly interesting.
“Akari, do you know Maeda’s contact info?”
“What are you going to do?”
“I want to ask him about back then.”
Akari looked a little surprised.
Well, even I thought it was surprising that I was about to take such an action.
For me, my high school memories were mostly things I wanted to forget. Meeting someone to dig up those memories… if it wasn’t related to Yamamoto, I’d absolutely hate it.
…But.
If it’s for Yamamoto, it’s not a burden at all.
I know.
If Yamamoto found out what I’m about to do, he’d probably say something.
He’d say, What’s the point of knowing that now?
He’s not the kind of guy who likes to dwell on the past.
Being touched by that mentality of his is what’s helped me start to overcome the fears from my past relationship.
He’d probably say it.
That my actions are meaningless.
…But.
But!
I don’t think that!
The guy I once put down.
The guy I now have feelings for.
I can’t stand the thought of him continuing to be condemned for a crime he didn’t commit…!
But maybe my actions really are too late.
Even if I told our old classmates now that the after-party incident wasn’t Yamamoto’s fault, no one would care.
Even I had forgotten about it until now, after all.
…But I can still apologize to him.
If I learn the truth, I should apologize to him.
I’m the one who put him down back then…
I’m the one who wants to stay with him from now on…
I’m the one who needs to apologize for that mistake.
“I’m jealous, really.”
“…Ugh.”
“Meg, you couldn’t make that face before.”
“W-What kind of face?”
“The face of a girl in love.”
Akari hugged me inside the train car.
It was nearly the last train, and there were hardly any other passengers. The few who were there were asleep, probably exhausted from overtime. That was the only saving grace.
Still, it was embarrassing either way.
“Sorry, I don’t know Maeda-kun’s contact info.”
“…O-Oh, okay.”
“So, I’ll ask around, okay?”
“Huh?”
“If I find out, I’ll let you know. So go meet him.”
“…Akari, thank you.”
Since we reunited, things had always felt awkward between Akari and me.
And that awkwardness was entirely one-sided, coming from me.
Yet Akari…
I hugged Akari back.
She’s truly… truly my best friend.
So what if Akari used to date Yamamoto?
That doesn’t change the fact that she’s my best friend. That’s the one thing that doesn’t change.
“…I’m always sorry.”
“No, don’t worry about it.”
“…Someday, I promise, I’ll help you out too.”
“…If that’s the case.”
Akari started to say something.
“No, it’s nothing.”
And then, she gave a slightly lonely, bittersweet smile.
