A Possible Future

When I got home, Hayashi was out at her part-time job, leaving the apartment empty. I’d come back all fired up, ready to take on Kasahara’s request with enthusiasm. But finding her gone like this really took the wind out of my sails.

There was a note in Hayashi’s elegant handwriting stuck to the fridge.

“I’ll be home late today, so eat dinner without me. It’s in the fridge.”

Reading the note, I scratched my head.

They say when inspiration strikes, it’s best to act on it right away, or the momentum fades and motivation slips. If you don’t, it rarely leads to anything good. This time, I learned that lesson well.

In the empty apartment, I heated up the nikujaga she’d made for me and ate alone. Come to think of it, it’s been a while since I’ve had a day where we didn’t eat dinner together.

A thought crossed my mind.

If Hayashi went back to her parents’ place, would I be eating here alone again?

The idea made me feel a little lonely. But I quickly realized that the way things have been until now was the unusual part.

The relationship we’ve had up to this point has been terribly lopsided.

It all started back in high school when we first met. We weren’t particularly close. In fact, I’m pretty sure she downright disliked me back then.

But then, in college, we ran into each other again while I was working at a convenience store. That’s when I found out she was a victim of domestic violence. Help her.

The situation we’re in now came about as a desperate attempt to break free from the worst circumstances. Of course it’s been a strange, abnormal ride. That’s only natural.

…Maybe this is the turning point.

Haven’t I done pretty well? Back in high school, Hayashi and I didn’t get along, but now I’d say we’ve become closer than anyone else, true friends. And this past month, she’s helped me out a ton.

What more could I want from her by keeping her hidden in this apartment? What do I expect from her moving forward?

…She really should go back to her parents’ place.

…But.

“What I’m saying is, even a selfish guy like me isn’t just pushing my own opinion—I’m asking for yours.”

Just the other day… I told Hayashi that.

I told her I wanted her to stay in this apartment.

…It came out in a way that didn’t quite sound like I meant it, but that’s just my selfish personality at work.

Back then, Hayashi was clearly down. I still don’t know why. But right now, I’m not trying to figure out why she was upset.

That time, I indirectly told her I wanted her to stay here.

I’m a guy who’s bad at lying.

So for someone like me to say it so indirectly… it means I really meant I wanted her to stay.

“Maybe… I should just leave this apartment after all?”

When she asked if she should go, for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to agree with her.

It felt so natural, so obvious.

I thought she should stay in this apartment.

…Why is that?

Was it because, back then, she had nowhere else to go?

Because if she left here, she’d be out on the streets?

…Probably, yeah.

That’s a big part of it.

But why do I feel like that’s not the whole story?

I don’t get it.

It’s my own feelings, and I don’t understand them.

“…Ugh.”

I’ve always had few friends.

So I’ve always dealt with my problems on my own. I never really relied on my parents either. They weren’t the type to meddle in my life or listen to me seriously.

…That’s why I’ve always solved things by myself. Sometimes I got it right, sometimes I messed up. But in general, whether I was right or wrong, I always put in the effort to tackle my problems head-on.

But now… I don’t feel like I can solve this particular problem on my own.

Come to think of it, I once told Hayashi, in a rare moment of vulnerability, that if she had a problem, she should rely on others—back when she was recovering from the domestic violence.

So maybe now I should… No, that won’t do.

…Hayashi.

Whether she leaves this apartment.

Or stays here.

My opinion shouldn’t factor into her decision.

Staying in this apartment.

Or leaving it.

That’s for Hayashi to decide, not me.

What I should do for Hayashi…

…is give her, with her heart still healing, the freedom to choose.

Her path was once completely blocked off.

Because of her ex, so many possibilities that were open to her were shut down.

There were so many futures she could have had.

A future where she’s surrounded by tons of friends at college.

A future where she lands a great job and thrives as a career woman.

A future where she gets married, has kids, and lives happily with her husband.

Not all of those futures are completely out of reach.

But for a time, it really seemed like… all those futures were nearly stolen from her by some guy whose name and face I don’t even know.

I’m a complete outsider when it comes to what happened between Hayashi and her ex. So I’m not going to loudly badmouth him or express my anger. I definitely wouldn’t take matters into my own hands.

But I never want to be like that guy.

That’s the one thing I’m certain of.

…So, as her roommate, I…

Could I have had a future where I lived a happy married life?

Why am I acting like that’s already off the table???

Please leave your ratings, bookmarks, and feedback!!!