Chapter 6 | It’s fine, you know? You can use my bed.

Lately, my focus on studying has been slipping.

After spending time at Makura’s place until evening, I head to the cram school’s study room, but I can’t concentrate like I used to. The thought that today was fun lingers, trapping me in a lazy haze, unable to shift gears.

It’s like diving into the sea, sinking slowly, deeply. My vision narrows, and the surrounding sounds fade away. When I resurface, an hour or two has slipped by—that’s how it’s always been in the study room.

But lately, I dive in, reach about five meters down, and no matter how hard I kick, I stop moving forward. Buoyancy takes over, pushing me back to the surface. The cycle repeats endlessly.

I sit at the desk, determined to study. I flip through textbooks, attempt problems. But then memories of my time with Makura, flashes of game screens, or manga storylines invade my mind, yanking my focus away. This kind of mental noise is new to me. And then I start wondering, What’ll we do tomorrow?

Is this what “depravity” feels like?

I’ve never slacked off like this before. Even when I had a cold, I’d lie in bed, flipping through textbooks. Plunging into this lazy lifestyle—exposed to games and manga, things I’d always shut out—has been a shock. I thought “depravity” meant a gradual decline, a slow slide into ruin. But I’ve been thrown into it all at once, and it’s no wonder I’m struggling to keep up with the whiplash.

Still, I have cram school assignments and prep for evening classes piling up. School homework’s been pushed aside with the excuse that I can do it anytime. I planned to tackle at least one past entrance exam daily, but I haven’t touched them.

I really need to focus.

But if I don’t… will it matter? Will anything really change?

Those thoughts kept me up that night. Lately, I’ve had more nights where sleep just won’t come.

By the time I got to Makura’s place, I was yawning nonstop.

“What’s up?” Makura asked, glancing over from her usual gaming spot. Her sleepy eyes, as always, were a morning staple, though I’d learned they’d perk up soon enough. Today, she wore white lace pajamas with flared sleeves and frilly hems.

“Didn’t sleep much last night,” I mumbled.

“Oh? Studying?”

“Not exactly…”

“Hm?”

Makura leaned in, peering at my face, but I couldn’t muster a good explanation and fell silent.

“Nah, it’s nothing big.”

“Hmm…” She studied my expression for a moment before looking away.

“It’s fine, you know? You can use my bed.”

“Huh?”

I followed her gaze to a bed with light pink sheets, a crumpled white blanket lying on it like a shell she’d crawled out of.

…Is it okay to lie down here? To sleep here?

Even with her permission, I hesitated. It was a girl’s bed, after all—an impossibly sacred space. Sitting on the edge was the most I’d dared so far.

“Sleep! Sleep’s essential for a shut-in’s life! Take a quick nap, recharge, and we’ll game again,” Makura urged.

“R-Right…”

She stood, spread out the blanket, and smoothed the sheets, then patted the bed, signaling me to lie down.

It’s fine, right? Just borrowing it for a bit…

I rose slowly and moved to the bed. Sitting on the edge, I steeled myself and cautiously leaned back.

And so, I lay on a girl’s bed.

The sheets, cool from the air conditioning, felt soothing. Makura draped the soft, light blanket over me.

“Oh, use this pillow too,” she said, pushing it near my ear.

Reluctantly, I lifted my head, and the pillow slid under my neck. As I settled onto it, a faint shampoo scent wafted up, tickling my nose and sending a jolt through my brain. I couldn’t help but breathe it in again.

…This is bad. This really is a girl’s room…

I was only supposed to drop off assignments at first. How did it come to this?

“Don’t mind me. I’ll just game or something,” Makura said, lowering the game’s volume with the remote.

She’s probably just being kind, lending me her bed out of pure goodwill. Maybe she’s worried about me.

…Then I’ll take her up on it.

“Thanks. I’ll sleep a bit,” I said.

Makura, about to turn back to the TV, glanced over. Her eyes softened, and a gentle smile spread across her face.

“Yup. Sleep lots.”

＊

With a slow sense of rising, I cracked my eyes open.

Cha-cha-cha, cha-ra-raa, cha-cha-cha, cha-ra-raa—a faint, steady rhythm played from somewhere far off.

My blurry vision gradually cleared.

An unfamiliar ceiling.

—Right. I was sleeping in Makura’s room.

Caught between sleep and wakefulness, my body, sunk deep into the warm bed, wasn’t ready to move. Trying not to lose that comfort, I turned over with minimal motion.

Then my body brushed against something soft.

A blanket, maybe? Fluffy, warm.

Still on my side, I pulled it closer like a body pillow. It felt so nice, so calming.

But before I could figure out what it was—I drifted back to sleep.

＊

I snapped awake.

Crap, I fell back asleep!

I vaguely remembered stirring once, but I must’ve passed out again. What time is it?

I bolted upright, a bright beam of light slipping through the gap in the curtains, piercing the room.

…Sunset?

Panic surged as I fumbled for my phone in my pants pocket to check the time.

—Six o’clock!?

No way! How long was I out? Normally, I’d be in the cram school study room by now, prepping for evening classes. Heart racing, I tried to piece together the situation. That’s when—

“Oh, Manamichi-kun. You’re up? …Fuwaaa,” a sleepy voice murmured beside me as the blanket stirred.

“Eh…?”

Maybe it was the shock of the sunset or the time, or maybe it blended in so perfectly I hadn’t noticed, but I hadn’t realized Makura was right there, pressed against my hip.

Wait, this means…

Rubbing her sleepy eyes, Makura slowly sat up. The blanket, half-covering her face, slipped away. “You must’ve been exhausted. You didn’t wake up even past noon,” she said with a soft smile.

“Y-Yeah,” I managed, still processing.

“You looked so comfy, I couldn’t bring myself to wake you.” Stretching, Makura’s pajama hem lifted, briefly revealing her neat navel. I tore my eyes away and spoke quickly. “Hold on, you… were sleeping with me?”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” She blinked, as if just realizing it herself. “Seeing your happy sleeping face made me sleepy too. So I borrowed a bit of the bed’s edge.”

“The edge… But you were, like, right next to me…”

The words came out choppy, my thoughts a mess. Makura seemed to catch on, glancing at the bed and then between her spot and mine, confirming the closeness. “W-We were pretty close, huh,” she mumbled, her cheeks flushing.

“I mean, we’ve been talking right next to each other,” I said, trying to make sense of it.

“It felt so natural I didn’t notice. So… we were sleeping together…?” Her voice trailed off, the phrase heavy with embarrassment.

S-Sleeping together…

The words made it sound far more intimate than it was, and my face burned. “S-Sorry. It’s like, uh, something couples do…”

“C-C-C-Couple? N-No, it’s fine!” Makura waved her hands frantically, her face now beet red. “I’m the one who got in bed later. It wasn’t on purpose. Sorry for intruding.”

But really, I was the one who should apologize. “No, I’m really sorry,” I said, fragments of memory piecing together. I vaguely recalled waking once, my mind half-gone, and finding something like a body pillow next to me, hugging it tight. Looking now, there was no such pillow on the bed…

Hoping my racing heartbeat wasn’t obvious, I forced myself to stay calm. When I woke, we were close but not in a full-on embrace—a small saving grace. If she’d noticed, it could’ve been a disaster. Still, the memory of holding something soft, warm, and perfectly fitting in my arms lingered. I couldn’t help glancing at her beside me.

“Sorry for just sleeping the whole time after being let in,” I mumbled.

“That’s totally fine! A long nap is peak depravity!” Makura chirped, crawling across the bed on her knees to the window. She hopped down and flung the curtains open. Light flooded the room, the dazzling sunset nearly blinding me. I shut my eyes instinctively.

Slowly, I opened them and approached her. The apartment faced an open lot, offering a clear view even from the second floor. Beyond the small balcony stretched a residential area—houses, a park with minimal playground equipment, a distant power tower, and a small pond, all coated in a faint silver glow.

“Pretty, right?” Makura said, shifting to give me space as I peered over her shoulder.

“Yeah… it’s pretty,” I agreed. The town carried a melancholic vibe. I was usually holed up in the study room at this hour, so it had been a while since I’d seen an evening like this. No, when was the last time I stopped to look at any scenery?

“Man, we slept a ton,” Makura said in her slow, drawn-out voice.

“Yeah, I feel refreshed. Thanks.” The fog clouding my brain had lifted, leaving my mind clear. I could probably study well now.

“No prob. I slept great too, so my mind’s clear.” Stretching with an “Nngh,” Makura raised both arms.

I didn’t think much of her words at the time.

“I gotta get to cram school. Class is starting,” I said, part of me wanting to linger in this relaxed moment, wrapped in the sunset’s wistful glow. But I shook it off and turned, stepping toward my bag on the floor.

Then Makura’s voice stopped me. “Don’t push yourself too hard, okay?”

I turned to see her staring at me against the backlight. “You don’t have to push yourself. Lots of people say that but secretly expect you to anyway. I’m different. When I say you don’t have to, I mean it.”

Her words caught me off guard. “Yeah…” I managed. Does she think I’m overdoing it? Is she worried? Am I overdoing it…?

Pondering but with no time to dawdle, I said, “Thanks. See you tomorrow.”

“…Yup!” she replied brightly.

With that short exchange, I left Makura’s room.

☆

The front door clanged shut, and I—Makura Koiro—was alone in the room. Flopping onto the bed with a thud, I let out a sigh.

—Was that okay? Did I handle it alright?

The thought crossed my mind, but I shook my head vigorously. No, no, I decided not to think like that.

“…Haa.”

I exhaled deeply again and tipped over onto the bed. The sheets, usually cool, were lukewarm.

“Ah…”

Right. Manamichi-kun was here until just now.

Sleeping with me.

The memory sent a rush of heat to my face.

He’d looked so tired, so I offered him the bed. So far, so good. After that, I was gaming alone—but then my hips started aching from sitting, and I just wanted to stretch out. I mean, come on! Humans are fighting gravity all the time, so of course we need to lie down sometimes! Rest is essential! Earth’s gravity is relentless!

Besides, Manamichi-kun was way over on the other side, leaving plenty of empty space. I just borrowed a corner of it. No big deal—

But then, the incident happened.

As I lay there, starting to drift off, his steady breathing suddenly stopped. My heart froze. Did he wake up? I wanted to slip away before he noticed I was next to him, but any movement might shake the bed and give me away. Then, in the next moment—

Squeeze. He hugged me from behind.

I nearly yelped but barely held it in.

W-What, what—!?

He’d rolled over, pressed himself against me, and wrapped his arms around my waist. I couldn’t move. His grip tightened around my stomach—ugh, I’ve been so self-conscious about it lately from skipping exercise. And his other arm… it was brushing against my chest.

Waking him would’ve been a disaster, and him realizing this would’ve been mortifying. But above all, his body was so warm, the closeness so comforting… Wrapped in that indescribable sense of ease, I let myself sink into his warmth and drifted off.

Later, evening came. Manamichi-kun woke first, stirring me awake too. The hug was gone, but our bodies were still close. I pretended I’d only just noticed, desperately playing it off.

And then he said it was like something couples do, didn’t he? It caught me off guard. …Was he thinking of it that way too?

My face burned again, and I shook my head to clear the thought. This is bad, this is bad. Way too embarrassing—

Grabbing the pillow above me, I buried my face in it, muffling a groan.

After a while, I slowly rolled onto my back. The sunset’s hue had deepened, casting the room in a dimmer glow.

—Still, I haven’t slept that well in ages…

Was it because we were sleeping together? What an unexpected discovery. Not that I could ever ask for it again.

I feel so refreshed, in such a great mood. But I slept so much, I probably won’t sleep tonight…

Staring at the pink sky outside, I drifted into thought again.