[Idle Talk: Rental Instruction (Day 94)]

“The vibe between me and Usa-kun is, like, super serious. Also, someone pass me some wheat.”

The day after that chaotic—honestly, straight-up accidental—encounter, I, Utakata Tsukino, alias Utamaru, alias the blonde “Usa Itsuki,” sat at the meeting table of the Rollworker staffing agency. Across from me was Takanashi Mifuru, a board game café employee, casually tossing out demands while we played Settlers of Catan.

“Hmm, if you give me some clay…”

Tatsumi Marisa—my former Shishou, aunt, and the Shachou of this company—responded, her eyes flicking between the game board and her cards.

“Alright, cool.”

“Here ya go.”

Cards exchanged hands as they sealed the deal. The reason we were knee-deep in Catan during a supposedly serious meeting? Simple: Shishou had a sudden whim, declaring, “I wanna try board games too.” Takanashi-san, claiming it was “one of the few games I actually know the rules for,” brought Catan from the café, and that’s how we ended up here.

After her turn, Shishou leaned back, finally steering the conversation to the actual contract. “So, what’s this ‘super serious’ thing all about?”

“Yeah, like, I want you to be more than just a fake boyfriend—I want a real-deal boyfriend vibe.”

“Huh? What’s that?” Shishou blinked, completely lost. As expected, she was hopeless with gyaru lingo. Both she and Takanashi-san turned to me with pleading looks, practically begging me to translate.

But, come on, I’m a women’s Meijin at heart. Even if I’m close in age to Takanashi-san, there’s no way I’m more fluent in gyaru-speak than Shishou.

Sensing my hesitation, Shishou quickly looked away, abandoning the translation request. The real issue, though, was Takanashi Mifuru.

fter all, the way she sees me right now is—

“Usa-kun totally gets this vibe, right?”

“…O-obviously.” I flicked my flashy blonde hair with a dramatic flourish, leaning into my cocky “trendy young dude” persona. Yeah, I’d gone all-in on this modern-youth energy during our first meeting, the total opposite of my real self. Admitting I didn’t understand her words now? Not an option.

As a result—

“Then explain it. The difference between a karepipi and a karepi.”

“OH…”

A women’s Meijin and a former women’s Meijin, both cornered by a gyaru.

“Hah, I’d love to hear this too—the difference between karepi and karepipi. Also, someone give me some ore. Ore.” Shishou, whose turn was up again, dove back into Catan with a smirk, acting like this was all just a game to her. Ugh, this woman, seriously…!

“I’ve got ore right now, but what’re you offering?” Takanashi-san countered.

“Hmm… how ‘bout one wood?”

“Pfft, that’s hilarious. Yeah, no deal.”

“No, wait, hold up. Uh…”

While they haggled over resources, I was frantically piecing together the karepi versus karepipi puzzle in my head.

“(The difference between karepipi and karepi… Well, obviously, it’s the number of “pi”s, right? But what does that even mean… Wait, the number of “pi”s? That sounds familiar… Like from music class way back…)”

“PP… pianissimo…” I muttered under my breath.

““Huh?”” Both paused their negotiation, staring at me like I’d lost it.

But my thoughts raced on. “(PP stands for pianissimo, meaning “very soft.” And before that, P is piano, meaning “soft.” The more P’s, the softer it gets. Could that apply to “pi” too? So maybe…)”

In a split second, I snapped back to my Usa Itsuki persona. “A karepi is straight-up a boyfriend. A karepipi—that’s, like, one step short. Think of it as that ‘more than friends, less than lovers’ vibe you see in rom-com manga.”

I played it cool, but my heart was pounding. Total shot in the dark. If I’d missed the mark, I’d have to talk my way out—

“Correct!”

““Seriously!?”” Shishou and I blurted in unison, our eyes nearly popping out.

Takanashi-san squinted at me suspiciously. “Wait, why’s Usa-kun acting surprised?”

“Uh, well… I got caught up in Shachou’s reaction.”

“Hmm. Whatever, good job, Usa-kun. Not bad.”

“T-thanks.” I wasn’t sure what she was praising, but it felt like she was starting to warm up to me.

Shishou smirked, nudging my arm with her elbow. “Nice one, Usa-kun.”

“I’ll murder you,” I shot back with a grin. The rough comeback felt oddly natural, and Shishou’s face paled just a bit.

“(I get it. Instead of acting like some polished performer, leaning into the “elements” already inside me makes playing the rental boyfriend way smoother…)” Thanks to Shishou’s unnecessary jab, I’d stumbled onto that realization. Double win.

Apparently, my banter with Shachou scored points with Takanashi-san too. “So, like, Usa-kun…” She spoke like we were already buddies, placing a Catan piece while continuing. “Even though it’s a rental thing, I wanna keep it as real as possible, y’know?”

“Real… like, you want us to be all lovey-dovey in public or something?”

Even if we’re both girls, that’s a bit much… I hesitated, but Takanashi-san waved it off with a wry smile.

“No, no, that’s not it. That’s, like, the opposite of real. Usa-kun, don’t tell me you’ve barely got any dating experience despite your looks?”

“…Who knows?” I brushed it off, sipping my oolong tea. Shishou’s smug grin was insufferable.

Takanashi-san pressed on. “Anyway, I don’t want some cheesy, cliched couple vibe. I want us to come off as naturally close.”

“Ah… yeah, I get what you’re saying.” I placed a road piece on the board, glancing at her. “But, like, isn’t that actually a pretty high bar to clear?”

“Yeah, true. But Usa-kun, you’re a pro, right?”

“Uh…” A pro? I’m barely an amateur. No dating experience, and I didn’t even live the average teenage life.

“Uh, anyway, my turn’s done.” I fumbled, moving the game along.

Surprisingly, Shishou threw me a lifeline while rolling the dice. “Sure, our Usa is a pro, but your request is undeniably tough. Even if it’s just for short daily pick-ups and drop-offs, or maybe because it’s so short, acting like a real couple will require meticulous prep. But that would mean more time commitment—”

Shishou’s concern for my shogi activities and board game time was annoyingly thorough. But Takanashi-san, as if she’d anticipated this, flashed a sly, devilish grin, cutting Shishou off mid-sentence. Then she turned to me with a seemingly random question.

“Hey, Usa-kun, you having fun with Catan?”

“Huh?” Her sudden shift caught me off guard. Her expression reminded me of my mom playing animal shogi with me as a kid, throwing me for a loop.

“What’s that got to do with this…?”

“Just answer, c’mon. This Catan game… or, like, board games in general. You like ‘em?”

I wavered between two choices but decided that for natural acting, I should avoid unnecessary lies. “Yeah, I love board games. They’re fun, right?”

It was probably the most heartfelt thing I’d said as Usa Itsuki.

Maybe she sensed that. Takanashi-san’s face lit up with a bright, cheerful grin. “Chou~jou~!”

“?”

Takanashi-san’s phrase—probably inspired by my “Utamaru” alias—left Shishou and me exchanging baffled glances. Undeterred, she pressed on with infectious enthusiasm. “Usa-kun, whenever you’ve got free time, besides picking me up and dropping me off, come hang out at Kurumaza as much as you can.”

“Your board game café?”

“Yup. And with Banjo—oh, that’s my coworker. The three of us can play board games together. That’ll help us get closer naturally, right?”

“Well, sure, but…”

“Oh, and obviously, cover the café bill with your company expenses.”

“Hold up, hold up!” Shishou, unable to let that slide, cut in sharply. Takanashi-san’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Oh, I’m not giving you any ore.”

“No, not Catan! I’m talking about your rental boyfriend café idea. Increasing Usa’s time commitment and expecting us to cover the costs? That’s…”

“Haha, yeah, that proposal’s a bit much, huh?”

“Obviously. Even setting aside the time commitment, if you want Usa—the rental boyfriend—to hang out at the café, you should cover those costs yourself.”

“Yeah, fair. But, like, I’m not exactly rolling in cash…”

“Then your proposal is rejected—”

Just as Shishou was about to shut it down, I leaned forward, cutting her off. “Wait a sec, Shachou.”

“? What’s up, Tsuku-cha—Usa?”

“Can I have a quick word?”

“?”

Shishou and I huddled close, whispering so Takanashi-san couldn’t hear. “This proposal is a huge win for me—Utakata Tsukino, I mean. I really wanna take it. I don’t even mind if the café costs come out of my paycheck.”

“? Why’s that?”

“Why? Have you forgotten why I’m working for you in the first place?”

“Well, to cover your board game café expenses…… ……Ah.”

“Exactly. So it’s no problem if my pay goes straight to Kurumaza. And the time commitment? That’s not even an issue.”

“Right, you only wanted a short-term gig to secure board game time in the first place.”

“Yup. Plus, being able to hang out at Kurumaza as this perfectly disguised ‘Usa Itsuki’ is a bonus. My old ‘Utamaru’ disguise was starting to get figured out lately…”

“So, for you, Takanashi-kun’s proposal is like hitting three birds with one stone.”

“Exactly. So…”

“Got it.”

We broke our huddle and turned back to Takanashi-san. Shishou cleared her throat, her tone firm. “Alright, we’ll happily accept your proposal.”

“What the heck?” Takanashi-san’s Kansai-style retort came out of nowhere, her voice tinged with disbelief. “It was totally getting shot down a minute ago!”

“Got a problem with that?”

“N-no, I mean, I’m grateful, but it’s, like, super suspicious!”

Fair question. I thought for a moment before tossing out a plausible excuse. “Uh, Takanashi-san, this proposal is actually more beneficial for me personally than for the company.”

“How so?” She tilted her head, curious.

Shishou shot me a skeptical glance, probably wondering how much I’d reveal. I glanced at the Catan board and cards before answering. “Playing board games while acting as your boyfriend could help with my ‘main gig,’ y’know? Oh, and can you spare some sheep?”

“Nope. Wait, main gig? Oh, is Usa-kun, like, an aspiring actor or something?”

“Let’s just say I’ll leave that to your imagination. Alright, I’ll place another road and end my turn.” I shrugged, moving the Catan piece, staying honest without spilling the whole truth.

Shishou looked impressed, and Takanashi-san nodded, seemingly convinced. “If that’s the case, then… yeah, I guess that makes sense?”

“Cool, then the contract’s set. I’ll act as your boyfriend for daily pick-ups and drop-offs, and when I’ve got time, I’ll show up as a customer. That work, Takanashi-san?”

“Okay, okay. …Oh, but calling me ‘that’ might be a bit of an issue for the boyfriend act.”

“? That?”

“‘Takanashi-san.’”

““Oh!”” Shishou and I exclaimed in unison, caught off guard. We hadn’t even noticed.

Takanashi-san sighed, her exasperation almost palpable. “C’mon, get it together already. This is a rental boyfriend agency, right?”

“Well, it’s not just a rental boyfriend agency…”

“Still, though. …Ugh. We should probably iron this out.”

“Yeah, I’m with you on that, Takana—Mifuru.”

“Nice! That felt weirdly natural. Hilarious. lol”

I didn’t quite catch what she meant by “weirdly natural,” but her grin said she was pleased, and that’s what mattered.

I confirmed my Catan turn, rolled the dice, checked my resources, and declared, “Alright, with the clay I just got, I’ll place another road.”

Takanashi-san smirked at my move, chuckling mockingly. “Haha, this is why board game newbies are so… Look, Usa-kun, Catan’s all about building houses and cities to score points. Just spamming roads doesn’t get you—”

But I cut her off, my voice calm but confident. “And with this road placement, my route’s now the longest trade route on the board, right?”

“Huh? Oh…” Takanashi-san’s face paled in an instant.

“Sure, roads themselves don’t score points, but if I recall, the player holding the longest trade route gets the ‘Longest Road’ title card… which comes with 2 victory points, right?”

“Uh, uhh… w-w-was that how it worked?”

“C’mon, Mifuru, you explained it yourself at the start. Plus, that title can move between players. So…”

Takanashi-san hurriedly tried to cover something on the table with her hands, her sore-loser instincts kicking in. I grinned, pointing at the Longest Road card peeking through her fingers. “That ‘Longest Road card’ moves to me now, and with that, my total score hits 10 points—the goal of the game. That’s my win.”

“Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!” Takanashi-san clutched her head, slumping onto the table in defeat.

Shishou piled on, her tone teasing. “Oh, and with Takanashi-kun losing the Longest Road—and those victory points—it looks like I’m in second place.”

“Aaaaaaaaaa! I got completely crushed in an ‘instructor loss’! And Banjo’s not even here! I thought I could flex on the newbies here!”

Her suggesting a casual board game during this meeting was rare, and now it was clear why—she wanted to show off against supposed amateurs. How shallow… What she didn’t know was that she’d picked the wrong opponents. A women’s Meijin and a former women’s Meijin weren’t exactly pushovers. Plus…

“(Her usual strength probably comes from Banjo-san…)” I realized again. At Kurumaza, playing as “Utamaru” with her and Banjo-san, she’s ridiculously strong—but only because Banjo-san babies her. Without him, she’s so weak it throws the game. As a board game café worker, that’s kind of a fatal flaw… but somehow, playing with her is always a blast.

The proof came when Shishou, of all people, spoke up. “Hmm, these board games are surprisingly fun. Maybe I’ll swing by the café sometime.”

Her interest warmed my heart a little… but then Takanashi-san, still recovering from her tantrum, dropped something outrageous. “Y’know… getting outplayed by Usa-kun on the board like this, it kinda feels like some weird foreshadowing…”

“Cough, cough!”

I choked on air, my composure slipping as Shishou smirked at me. Clearing my throat, I shot back, “W-What kinda nonsense is that, Mifuru…”

“Ooh, that name drop just now felt super karepi-ish. Nice.” Takanashi-san popped up from the table, her smile bright and fleeting. Her moods shifted so fast—no wonder she was a hit with the café crowd. Even I, a girl, felt a little flustered by her charm.

“Y-You think?”

“Yeah. But that vibe—it’s not something you can just pull off naturally, right?”

“Uh… yeah, maybe.” My acting only worked when it tapped into something real.

Shishou, flipping through the Catan rulebook, tossed out a suggestion. “Then why not stay in ‘boyfriend mode’ even during meetings like this, or when you’re alone? It’ll help you slip into the role faster.”

““Ah~!”” Takanashi-san and I exchanged glances, both sold on the idea. It made sense—staying “on” all the time instead of switching between my real self and the boyfriend act would be way more efficient.

Takanashi-san nodded eagerly. “That’d help me get in the zone too. If you’re cool with it, Usa-kun.”

“Yeah, of course. Looking forward to it, Mifuru.” I flashed a cocky, boyfriend-like grin.

She started to mirror my energy—then suddenly struck a dramatic pose, wiggling playfully. “Ohh, me tooo! Love ya, Usa-kun! ☆”

““……”” The women’s Meijin duo clutched their heads. Seems the real acting problem wasn’t me after all.

“Huh? What’s up with you two?”

““…Can we, like, redo today’s negotiations?”” we groaned in unison.

“Hn? The Catan game?”

““…Haah.””

“C’mon, what’s going on? Spill it already!”

In the end, the meeting—aka acting practice—dragged on until sunset.

＊

After the marathon Catan session and impromptu acting practice, we started packing up to leave. Shishou, flipping through her meeting notes from the president’s seat, spoke up. “Oh, Takanashi-kun. Before you go, can I confirm one thing?”

“Huh? What’s up?” Takanashi-san paused her Catan cleanup, tilting her head curiously. I kept washing dishes but leaned in to listen.

“What’s the real purpose behind this rental boyfriend thing?”

“? Real purpose?”

“Yeah. You said you wanted to show off a boyfriend to your coworker, right?”

Takanashi-san nodded. “Oh, yeah, to Banjo…”

“Why’s that?”

“Huh?”

“I mean, why do you want to show off a boyfriend to this Banjo-kun? We got sidetracked with the board game, so I never got to ask.”

“…Do I have to say?” Takanashi-san tensed, her usual confidence faltering. The air grew slightly heavy, and I stopped washing dishes, my attention fully on her. Shishou pressed gently.

“No, I’m not forcing you to answer. It’s just that if we know the full context, we can tailor the acting better.”

“…What’s that mean?”

“Well, say you just want to brag about a hot boyfriend to your friends. That’s a different acting plan than, say, hiring a fake boyfriend to fend off a stalker, right?”

“Oh, got it.” Takanashi-san relaxed, convinced. I was quietly impressed too but kept my face neutral—showing that would out me as an acting rookie.

Shishou continued. “So, what’s the deal? Is it just about showing off?”

“Showing off… Hmm, yeah, maybe…” Takanashi-san hesitated, then murmured softly, “…Ahaha, if anything, it’s more about putting up a front…”

““A front?”” Shishou and I echoed, caught off guard.

“Yeah. Like, I wanna show I’m doing great and happy…” Her voice dipped, uncharacteristically subdued.

Shishou and I exchanged a glance, but Takanashi-san quickly waved it off with a “never mind,” bouncing back to her usual energy. “Anyway, for Usa-kun’s acting plan, just treat me like the ‘showing off’ type of client, and you’re good! Just keep pulling hot karepi moves, and we’re set!”

She flashed her signature grin, and Shishou nodded. “Understood.” Turning to me, she added, “That work for you, Usa?”

“Yes, no problem. As we discussed, ‘slightly cocky hot boyfriend’ should do it. I’ve got this, full commitment.” I nodded seriously, but for some reason, both of them shot me unimpressed glares.

I flinched. “Uh, what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? Seriously? Is that how my karepi talks?” Takanashi-san huffed.

“Oh.” I’d totally slipped back into my real self.

She let out an exaggerated sigh. “C’mon, get it together. We decided, right? From now on, whether we’re alone or not, you’re ‘Takanashi Mifuru’s karepi, Usa Itsuki.’”

“Right, Takanashi-san. My bad—”

“Oh?”

“R-Right, Mifuru. My bad, my bad.” I scrambled back into Usa Itsuki mode.

Takanashi-san flipped her demeanor instantly, beaming. “No worries at all, my favorite Usa-kun!”

…Hmm… Her acting’s improved since earlier, but it still feels off. We both need to keep talking to nail this.

Shishou, watching our awkward exchange, muttered in exasperation, “Good grief. No proper payment, the boyfriend and client coaching each other’s acting, and the fake relationship bleeding into private chats. You two are way more complicated than just rental partners.”

“True,” I admitted, nodding. But Takanashi-san, resuming her Catan cleanup, countered with her blunt gyaru flair. “Nah, just call it ‘friends’ and be done with it.”

Her words hit me hard. Living a shogi-obsessed life, I’d never had someone my age call me a friend so openly… It was heavy, warm, and a little overwhelming. Friends, huh… Friends. Heh.

But Shachou was ruthless. “Sorry, but that’s no good. The moment you use that term, the business falls apart.”

“Ugh, there’s that adult nonsense. So annoying,” Takanashi-san grumbled.

“A-Annoying? What’s that supposed to mean? Listen, Takanashi-kun, this is—”

“Yeah, yeah, got it, got it. Usa-kun and I aren’t friends.”

Oof. That stung more than I expected.

“As long as you understand,” Mari-san said, looking smug. But having “friends” shot down left me feeling low.

Without thinking, I slipped out of character. “So, in the end, is Takanashi-san and I’s relationship just business partners?”

“Ugh, that’s so not cute. Can’t it be something more, like…” Takanashi-san paused, her gaze lingering on two dice left on the table. “Lemon candy and cola candy…” she murmured, her voice soft, almost nostalgic, with a hint of sadness.

“Mifuru?”

“Oh, sorry, sorry. We were talking about our relationship, right?”

“Yeah. Friends is no good, business partners isn’t cute, that whole thing.”

“Right. I just remembered the perfect way to describe it.”

“Remembered?”

“Yup. You and me, Usa-kun, from now on, we’re…”

Takanashi Mifuru paused for a beat, then, with a flippant tone that matched her polished gyaru vibe, she declared,

“In a relationship of play, that’s what.”