Kaori keeps glancing at me for some reason, smartphone in hand, while checking on the two studying.
In the living room, Tomiya’s little sister Minori and Kohaku are seriously tackling their summer vacation homework, with Kaori there like a teacher and supervisor.
I gaze at them absentmindedly while standing in the kitchen with Mom, preparing lunch together.
It feels strangely familiar, like it just happened recently, yet also like it’s been a while.
When Mom’s home, I basically leave the housework to her.
That said, since Mom just got back this morning, I don’t want her working too much.
“It’s fine, right? I’ve got some time off now.”
“Even so, you should rest after coming back from work.”
Even when I say that, it doesn’t seem to resonate with her much.
We continue cooking like that for a bit, and then she suddenly starts some casual chit-chat.
“Oh yeah, at work, whenever talk turns to kids, everyone always brings up Aoi.”
“Huh? I’ve never even met the people at your workplace…”
“You go to that nearby orthopedic clinic sometimes, right? Their daughter works at the same place as me now. I heard you chat with her occasionally?”
“Oh…”
It’s not that I don’t have any idea; around there, I often make small talk with familiar faces whose names I don’t even know, so there are actually too many possibilities. Which one is it?
“They say they see you at the supermarket a lot, and they’re envious of having a son they can rely on for household stuff—they even wish their daughter would take a page from your book.”
“…What did you say to that?”
I end up asking without thinking.
Mom gives a wry smile and starts adding the chopped green onions to the miso soup.
“I couldn’t say anything.”
Mom murmurs softly.
“I don’t have any memories of my only son ever relying on me, and on top of that, a family that feels like it’d fall apart if that son didn’t step up—it’s nothing to brag about. From now on…”
“—You don’t have to push yourself.”
“Huh?”
“I don’t mind handling the house stuff at all, and I don’t feel like it’s a burden.”
Whether that’s the truth or not, I could choose not to do it, but somehow I end up taking care of things anyway. It’s something I decided on my own and do on my own.
No one’s forcing me.
It’s not like I don’t have moments where everything else got so unbearable that I clung to the strong bond of family, but even now that a lot of those unbearable things have faded, making my family important has become part of my purpose.
“You don’t do your job grudgingly either, right, Mom? Even when you’re busy and it looks tough, you seem to enjoy it somehow.”
“R-Really? I don’t think that’s the case…?”
“It is, or I wouldn’t say it. Dad’s the same way. I often think you two are such a matched pair.”
If you asked if I want to be like that too, it’s a bit iffy…
I glance over at the living room once, confirm that the three over there aren’t paying attention to us, then lower my voice a little and continue.
“…I started out hating the kagura dance, but after doing it for years, I’ve found some real fulfillment in it.”
“Yeah. I think it’s amazing that you still practice without fail.”
“I guess I’m kinda like you and Dad in that way.”
“We’re family, so that happens.”
“That said, I want you to keep an eye on Kohaku properly.”
I can handle being relied on by my parents even if I’m alone.
But I can’t judge if Kohaku would be okay in the same situation as me.
A girl who lost both parents young and came to this house—there’s no way someone like me could understand her feelings.
“Ugh.”
Seeing Mom make a truly bitter face at my pointed words, I can’t help but laugh.
If she’s aware of it herself, I can’t butt in any further.
“Kohaku, that girl…”
“Hm? Something up with Kohaku?”
“No, it’s nothing.”
Maybe something did happen, but either she doesn’t want to tell me or can’t.
Either way, if I don’t know the answer, there’s no point worrying.
Even if I ask her directly, she barely talks to me anyway.
“A-Anyway, what are you planning to do about Kaori?”
Her topic change is so clumsy it makes me want to call her out, but I hold back and try to figure out what she means.
“…What do you mean?”
“From what you said earlier, she likes you, right? There’s the move and all, but you could at least give her a little something in return.”
“…I think halfway accepting it would just make things harder later.”
“It’s not like it’s goodbye forever, but compared to before, the time you won’t see each other will be way longer. You could at least make one memory for her.”
Making memories—what would that even involve?
“Like what, for making memories?”
“Well, this time of year… a summer festival would be perfect, but…”
“That’s impossible.”
“Yeah, I guess. You’re the star, after all.”
“No…”
Like I said, the star of the summer festival is the fireworks.
How many times do I have to explain that my role is dedication, not a spectacle?
If the kagura dance I do was widespread and developed as a form of entertainment, I’d accept being called the star.
But turning an outdated, one-child inheritance with an unnecessarily heavy burden on the dancer into a show feels a bit off.
Of course, I know no one’s charging money for it. If anything, the preservation society collects fees to keep the festival going… but anyway.
“Well… it’s fine, I don’t have to be the one making memories.”
“Maybe that’s okay for Kaori, but what about you, Aoi?”
“Hm? Why me?”
When I ask back without thinking, Mom averts her gaze a little.
“…Kaori probably wants to be with you forever, but you… well…”
She trails off, but I kinda get what comes next.
“…It’d be better to have at least one memory where you think it was nice being with Kaori, right?”
“Mom, Kaori and I have been friends for nearly fifteen years, you know? We have one or two memories at least…”
I think of Kaori as a childhood friend I could brag about to anyone without shame.
That said, there was definitely a time when I didn’t want her around.
I’ve never once said I hate her. I might have said I didn’t want to be with her, but I’ve never said we don’t have memories…
“…One or two memories…”
…Memories aren’t coming to mind.
This is definitely weird; there have to be some.
No, there are some, but… they’re no good.
All that pops into my head are things that stir up bad feelings.
Isn’t there anything?
In eighth grade, we went to the beach together, and the next year, camping.
At the beach, I was exposed to so many stares that even Kaori seemed a bit put off, and I ended up feeling sick.
At camp, her relatives glared at me every chance they got, and I couldn’t relax.
…She’s totally a jinx…!
We’ve spent most of our lives together, so what’s going on?
What is it with my childhood friend? She doesn’t have any faults herself, but the environment around her turns into my enemy way too much.
If we tried making memories by going out alone together, we’d probably run into old classmates from elementary or middle school, and it’d just end on a sour note.
I think fundamentally, we’re not compatible, or it just doesn’t suit us.
I shift my gaze back to Kaori in the living room.
“…Memories, huh.”
I murmur faintly again.
—If that’s the case, I wonder vaguely what would count as a memory for Kaori.
