That day, I told Hino Hana my honest feelings.
She reacted as if she understood, or rather, as if she had known all along.
More than that, she seemed to regret possibly hurting Kaori.
On that day when Kaori confessed, to put it bluntly, Hino Hana and Kaori had ended up in something like a verbal spat.
Hino Hana, irritated by having our time together interrupted, used some emotional words.
And Kaori, in response, poured out everything she had been bottling up.
Since then, I haven’t been able to talk properly with Kaori, and it seems Hino Hana was in the same situation.
But today, luckily—or perhaps not—I was invited by Kaori’s mother, Nanami Midori, to join them for dinner while heading home, knowing my mom was at the house.
Leaving Kohaku and the household matters to Mom, I headed to Kaori’s place instead of going home.
“Oh, Aoi! You came today, huh? It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”
The one who greeted me was Midori-san, with beautiful white hair just like Kaori’s.
She’s my mom’s classmate and apparently a senior from middle and high school to my dad.
She has an even brighter aura than Kaori and a laid-back, approachable personality.
“…It hasn’t been that long, I think.”
“Really? Well, whatever, come on in!”
“…Thanks for having me.”
“You could say ‘I’m home,’ you know.”
We’re not close enough for me to say something that casual.
I followed Midori-san into the living room.
There, I spotted Kaori lying on the sofa, letting out a sigh.
“Look, Kaori!”
“Hm…?”
Called by Midori-san, she sat up, looked at me, and blinked dazedly for a moment.
“Wha!?”
She let out a startled yelp.
Seeing her like that, Midori-san sighed in exasperation.
“W-Why’s Ao-kun here!?”
“Why? There’s no ‘why’ about it. You finally confessed your feelings, so why are you still moping around?”
How does she even know?
I don’t think Kaori would’ve told her, given her personality…
“W-What!? How do you know!?”
As expected, Kaori’s eyes widened in shock. Yeah, I figured as much.
“You got rejected, didn’t you?”
“No, I didn’t!”
When Kaori denied it, Midori-san turned to me.
“Are you two dating?”
“No, she said she ‘likes’ me, but not ‘please go out with me’… And if I had rejected her, why would you invite me over today?”
“Whatever happens between you and Kaori doesn’t really matter to me.”
Even though it’s about her own daughter, Midori-san just shrugged as if it was no big deal.
“To me, Aoi’s like a son too, you know?”
“I don’t recall ever becoming your son.”
“What? But I’ve spent way more time looking after you than Riri has.”
“…That’s kind of hard to argue with.”
It’s true that I’ve been taken care of by Midori-san enough to make that statement not entirely wrong.
“Plus, I’m the one who named you ‘Aoi.’”
“That’s got nothing to do with it.”
“—Wait, really!?”
Why doesn’t Kaori know about this?
You’d think she’d have heard about it at least once.
“Your mom’s the one who named Kaori, you know. How do you not know?”
“I didn’t know!”
That just shows how close my mom, Riri, and Kaori’s mom, Midori-san, are.
Thinking about it, maybe it was inevitable that Kaori and I became childhood friends.
“Alright, I’ll go get started on dinner.”
“Need any help?”
“No, no, I’m fine. Instead, go talk properly with Kaori, who’s been all noisy in her room by herself lately.”
With that, Midori-san headed to the kitchen.
Left in the living room, Kaori and I fell into a brief silence.
“Uh, um… for now… wanna sit? Coffee or something?”
“I’m good. More importantly, I want to talk with you properly, Kaori.”
Sitting next to Kaori, who had been flopping around on the sofa just moments ago, she scooted a little bit away.
“Is student council work still keeping you busy?”
“Huh? Oh, no, not really. I finished everything I was asked to do, and anything I might’ve been asked to do, yesterday.”
“Finished…? I heard you were preparing for the school information session or something.”
“Yeah. They asked me to help make the necessary materials, so I got it all done.”
“…Didn’t you say it’d take until the end of the term?”
“Yeah, it probably would’ve if I’d done it normally… but it’s fine for now, I think.”
The pre-finals period hasn’t even started yet, and she managed to finish it all?
“Oh, right, you officially joined the student council, didn’t you?”
“Yeah. When no one else was doing their work, I realized I had to step up. Honestly, I’d love for you to join too, Ao-kun.”
At her words, my mind immediately went to Tsugiyama.
The idea of doing student council activities with Kaori, surrounded by the girls he’s gathered, including upperclassmen, sounds like absolute torture for my heart.
“There are hardly any guys, and we could use someone who can handle physical tasks… What do you think?”
“Nope, I’m not joining. Student council’s way too much for me… Besides, I need Kiritsuki to tutor me for midterms and finals, or my grades will tank.”
“I could tutor you in the student council room, you know?”
“Don’t push it. Student council’s just not for me.”
“Aww… Yeah, I guess. It’s probably too much to ask when you’ve got stuff going on at home too, Ao-kun.”
This is one thing I absolutely can’t do. No way, no how.
I’ve got after-school time sometimes, but I can’t imagine being able to dedicate myself properly to student council activities.
Suddenly, Kaori shifted her position, as if gauging the distance between us.
“This might be a bit late to say all formal-like, but…”
“Hm?”
“…I’m sorry for making things hard for you because I was around. And for not being able to protect you properly.”
Is that really something Kaori needs to apologize for?
But if she’s apologizing, I figured I should too, so I turned to face her.
She was holding her hand to her chest, as if trying to calm herself.
“…I’m the one who should be sorry. I’m the one who hasn’t faced you properly.”
“Then…”
Suddenly, Kaori cupped my cheeks with both hands and lifted my face.
I hadn’t even realized I was looking down.
“From now on, will you face me properly?”
“Uh… well… I’ll try, I guess.”
“That’s so vague… I get that it’s probably hard for you to give a clear answer right now, Ao-kun, but I’m just gonna say it.”
After saying that, Kaori took a slow, deep breath and looked straight into my eyes.
“I honestly want to be your girlfriend, Ao-kun.”
“…You really put me on the spot when you say it so directly.”
When she says it so straightforwardly, I can’t find any room for excuses.
Not that I want to make excuses or anything.
If I’m going to reject her, I should just do it. If not, I should accept her.
It’s as simple as making a clear choice.
“How do I put this… I think my emotions haven’t really developed enough to get to that point, maybe?”
There are a lot of reasons, but I’ve never actually fallen in love with anyone.
I managed to build friendships slowly over the past year, but when it comes to romantic feelings, I’ve never experienced them—or rather, I’ve never been aware of them, so I don’t know.
“I still don’t really know what I want with you specifically, Kaori.”
With Hino Hana, I knew from the start I wanted a “no-holds-barred, partner-like relationship,” so once I sorted it out in my head, I could put it into words.
But with Kaori, my feelings aren’t that straightforward.
Maybe it’s some kind of contradictory emotion.
I’ve got a bunch of those conflicting feelings, and they’ve piled up into this big complex in my chest.
The scars from being bullied aren’t entirely gone, but instead of blaming the people who bullied me, I’ve unfairly pinned the responsibility on Kaori, who was the trigger for it all.
I don’t even know why it turned out this way or when it started.
All I’ve got right now is this vague sense of guilt.
“Hey, Ao-kun, what would it take for you to like me?”
As Kaori suddenly leaned closer, I grabbed her shoulders and gently pushed her back.
“…I don’t know, since I’ve never liked anyone before.”
She knows I’ve never had the space for that kind of thing, doesn’t she?
“I’d be fine if you don’t like anyone else, though.”
“…It’s not like that’d be a problem.”
“It’d be a problem for me!”
She’s the one making this difficult for me, though.
So, what do I do now?
Putting aside like or dislike, seeing Kaori speak her mind so openly, without worrying about distance, somehow felt nostalgic.
